Did loutish talking heads on cable news networks ruin Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign with the magic of "sexism?" They couldn't destroy Barack Obama with incessant repeats of racially-inflammatory sermons from Rev. Jeremiah Wright, but this "sexism" is said to be extra strong. On the CBS Evening News the other night, Katie Couric pulled out her mystical "notebook" and read a fable about sexism in which a blonde lady has her career ambitions destroyed by sexist men in the television industry. Mistaking this for a story about Clinton, America promptly got very scared and upset, and the Times sent two reporters out to ask everyone in the media if sexism shouldn't be stopped with "outrage." Here's what they found:

Jo Piazza of the New York Daily News ran a snippet over the weekend about the relationship between one of Diane von Furstenberg's male assistants and "a very-high-profile, still-kind-of-in-the-closet male broadcaster." That's not much of a blind item: the TV personality pretty much has to be CNN's Anderson Cooper.

CNN.com's business of selling t-shirts is starting to gain some traction and go viral, even after the network closed a security hole that let you write whatever headline you wanted. Obama supporters flocked to buy the "Obama Makes History" headline on a shirt last week, breaking sales records. Another boost came when Anderson Cooper said he wanted Donna Brazile to be his "boo," and people flocked to buy a shirt reading, "Anderson Cooper, ‘you're not my boo.'" It's now the number-three all-time bestseller. But, in true mainstream media fashion, CNN is doing its best to thwart its own online success. The network selectively blocks some of the best headlines, like "Grizzly Victim: 'He's eating my brain!'" There's now a whole website dedicated just to non-shirt-eligible headlines, like these:

MarketWatch media guru Jon Friedman just doesn't get the deal with that Anderson Cooper fellow. You know the one, right? Infinite blue eyes, enveloping gaze, powerful (but gentle) arms, distinguished and shimmering silver hair? Works on CNN? Well Friedman thinks he's the bunk! People just like Anderson 'cause he's adorable, and warm, and kind, and earnest! Not for any good reasons! Or, as Friedman puts it: "Yes, CNN's Anderson Cooper has heart. He oozes empathy. He's clearly a good-hearted fellow and, by all accounts, as likeable as all get-out." YES, YES, BUT WHY IS HE SO POPULAR? And, more importantly, why don't people feel the same way about Jon Friedman?? (Click thru to see the t-shirt we just bought for Jon, btw.)

If any other news anchor flirtatiously informed a renowned political strategist that he wanted to be her "boo," he'd probably get fired. But it's Anderson Cooper, therefore it's adorable! Watch it for yourself, after the jump.

Tonight might be a very important and momentous occasion, with a black man securing a major-party presidential nomination for the first time in history and all, but Anderson Cooper isn't going to let that stop him from being outrageous and giggly. The dreamy CNN anchor was interviewing Donna Brazile, strategist for a long string of failed Democratic presidential candidates, when he said something complimentary that made her blush and declare, "you're not my boo." When Cooper replied that "I want to be your boo," everyone got a little flustered and giddy and, probably, confused. Anderson, clearly lost at sea, asked everyone to explain what the word "boo" means to him at some later time. In the meantime, Cooper should be thanked for ensuring that tonight really was an important time for bridge-building and new directions in America. Clip after the jump.

The most beautiful cable news anchor of all time ever is 41 years old today. Maybe his mom will come by the studio to sing to him? Or maybe mean Mrs. Clinton will ruin his party by making him report "news." Sigh. [HuffPo] (After the jump, we'll share some birthday wishes for Anderson from HuffPo commenters.)

Washington Post media critic Howard Kurtz is married to a publicist, and one would expect the press scold to studiously avoid even the appearance of a conflict of interest with regard to her clients, who pay in hopes of getting their story into newspapers like the Post and onto TV shows like Kurtz's Reliable Sources at CNN. In fact, both Kurtz and wife Sheri Annis have been rather brazen about advancing one another's interests. As the Times notes this morning, Kurtz on Sunday interviewed for his TV show a CBS journalist who had written a memoir about her time in Iraq, and who just happens to have hired Kurtz's wife to do publicity. Kurtz went so far as to read aloud from her book before noting his conflict briefly at the end of his segment. His wife, it seems, has been even less ethically careful:

Despite having secured his future at CNN until 2010, Larry King, who come this November will turn 138, has finally acknowledged the fact that his career might have a finite end. (Even if his legacy does not: His Last Will and Testament contains detailed instructions of the children he expects his wife to bear from the 14 packages of Cryovaced semen he keeps stored in an industrial freezer in his basement.) That said, it's being reported that King is eyeing none other than American Idol's Master of Karaoke-Administrating Ceremonies Ryan Seacrest to fill his legendary seat. From The Scoop:

So it seems the Barack Obama campaign has replaced those three annoying young men in Abercrombie & Fitch shirts with a creepy collection of older white ladies in pastels, as though he were a polygamist cult leader or something. Dashing CNN anchor Anderson Cooper does not seem thrilled about this change, for some reason. His colleagues instinctively felt his displeasure at trading pumped-up college dudes in tight, trendy t-shirts for middle-aged housewives, so they started giggling. Coop-style journalism is contagious! Clip after the jump.

Anderson Cooper continues to let it be known, in every possible medium and format, that he is willing to entertain America's brave, well-toned troops in troubled hotspots should his services as a tough-but-emotionally-nurturing (and sometimes giggling) CNN anchor be required. You'll recall Cooper's message of support in Outside magazine's May issue: "I don't understand why more artists don't go and entertain the troops... I saw this documentary on Marlene Dietrich, and during World War II she was going out, right to the front lines. I think she was having sex with a lot of the troops, too." Cooper must have gotten to thinking about Dietrich's personal sacrifices, because a Rush & Molloy tipster just spotted him "looking patriotic in a USO tee on an early flight from New Orleans to JFK last week." Your salute to the troops, like those before it, will surely not go unnoticed, Anderson. [Daily News]

Do you ever feel like the headline of every CNN story should be "Middle-class Americans leading lives of quiet desperation"? Semi-related: "America's Wives Nagging, Clingy"

CNN heartthrob Anderson Cooper devoted a couple minutes of his program to AN ADORABLE BEAR last night! Seriously. "Frankly I can watch this bear for hours," said Cooper. How does Anderson know so much about bears? His exciting answer to that question may be found in the attached clip! (We suspect he may be exaggerating the breadth of his knowledge.)

A school teacher and a beautician are suing CNN for $1.3 billion because shouting head Jack Cafferty said that the Chinese government is full of "goons and thugs." Why $1.3 billion? Because that way they give one dollar to everyone in China, duh. "The legal action, filed in a New York federal court, is the latest incident in a escalating row over Western media coverage of the clampdown on unrest in Tibet in March and disruptions to the Beijing Olympic torch relay abroad."

Richard Quest, the flamboyant CNN presenter found by New York police in Central Park with crystal meth in his pocket, is to go into rehab for treatment of his drug habit, says the cable news network. This is by now the default escape route for disgraced TV personalities: they disappear from view, while appealing to the public's sympathy, a technique recently demonstrated by drunk-dialing host of The Insider, Pat O'Brien-twice. Quest also had rope around his genitals and a dildo in his boot, when stopped, making him not just a meth-head but a walking gay cliché.(Previously: watch Quest show off his rope tricks in a clip that foreshadowed his late-night embarrassment.)

Yesterday, CNN introduced new headline t-shirts and we bemoaned their shamelessness. Then we shamelessly held a contest for the best fake ones! Betty Crocker wins (with an assist from Tnuc)! Simple. Effective. Also it may get you arrested. Unfortunately you can't actually buy these hacked shirts, nor can you even hack them anymore. Maybe we'll try to work out something else?

So. Katie Couric's debate was canceled, and her ratings are the lowest ever, and also now Larry King has signed a contract extension with CNN. Through 2010, when he will be 77. That was supposed to be Katie's post-election job! Oh no!

When park-cruising meth-head CNN correspondent Richard Quest wasn't busy with rope tricks, he was pouring forth more innuendo-laden quotes on his globetrotting assignments. Here, Quest makes Anderson Cooper, the third most powerful gay man in America, break out into an embarrassed fit of giggles with his salutation: "As Dame Helen Mirren famously said when she picked up her Oscar: I give you...the Queen!" Cheerio, indeed!

Click to viewRichard Quest, the Brit-accented CNN correspondent arrested in Central Park last week with meth in his pocket, a dildo stuffed in his boot, and rope tied around his genitals, apparently has a good deal of training in rope tricks. Click to watch this clip, in which he shares his terror while performing "the Professor's Nightmare Rope Trick"—he just can't get the rope where he wants it to go! "We count to three, and we blow hard. We blow hard!" Impeccable foreshadowing in almost every line.