Welcome to the terrible nexus of Foodie and Earth Mama culture: In "The Placenta Cookbook," New York Magazine reports that the placentas of Brooklyn are no longer content to be buried in gardens, or ground into powder and consumed as nutrient-rich dietary supplements. (That is so 2009.) Every placenta who is any placenta gets blended into a coconut juice smoothie, or Bloody Mary, or placenta jerky strip:

Monday got you feeling down? Here's some natural, ultra-refreshing schadenfreude to perk you up: That overpriced coconut water your health-nut friends have been chugging is basically just gross-tasting sugar water.

Why did we all get together and agree to stop drinking water? Who knows, really, but we must have at some point because sales of bottled water have been falling fast over the past few months. Which explains why beverage companies are now in the process of coming up with all sorts of crazy new drinks to make up the difference.