A coffeeshop in San Francisco has just posted a list of rules for patrons wishing to drink coffee in its alley, an exclusive alley available only on weekends or whenever you wander down the alley.

Mom-and-pop coffee shop Starbucks is poised to expand its brick and mortar empire (slightly) further, as The Seattle Times reports the corporation is planning to open a tea-only store near the company's headquarters in Seattle.

The New York City Health Department recently inspected 30 Rock's Starbucks and discovered it to be teeming with "live mice." Consequently, the Starbucks serving the stars of NBC received a 'C.' Which other Manhattan Starbucks stores are among the impressively filthy elite?

Starbucks' war against loitering laptop hobos has taken a stark new turn, according to anecdotal evidence! We knew that roving Starbucks employees were politely—but firmly!—ordering long-sitters to buy something or get out. But now the pigs are involved.

Last month, word began circulating that laptop hobo headquarters Starbucks had a plan to force laptop hobos out of its precious coffee dispensaries. And now—judging by this lengthy blog post by a remarkably outraged man—the crackdown has begun.

Are coffee shops, of all fucking places, going to become the latest bastion of rudeness in our society, in which a fellow American who simply wants to purchase a cup of coffee and sit quietly, for nine hours, typing on a laptop, with papers and shit spread out all over the table as if this is his personal fucking office, is "not welcome?"

The Netherlands' right-wing coalition government announced yesterday that it will ban tourists from weed-selling coffee shops by the end of the year, effectively giving the finger to backpackers everywhere. And while we generally support liberal drug laws, and have no fondness for Geert Wilders' anti-Muslim Freedom Party, we don't really blame the Dutch for wanting to limit drug tourism, given that it attracts the most annoying people on the planet.

In your wicked Wednesday media column: the post-Roger Hodge day at Harper's, real journalists sure don't work in a "coffee shop," layoffs at ABC, and Nancy Grace is bad.

"I'd rather see more coffee shops and restaurants open than bodegas and nail salons," said one dude opening a coffee shop in Crown Heights, currently home to many bodegas and nail salons. There is so much beef now.

Every day hordes of bloggers trudge down to their local cafes to camp out all day, gorging on free wi-fi for the cost of a latte. But now the cafes are saying "no more!", and it's all because of the unemployed.