Tim Remington spent Saturday praying for the direct influence of God and Jesus Christ to aid the Ted Cruz campaign. The next day, he was shot six times, including once in the skull.

At least once per year, it is healthy for all of us to take a moment and reflect upon the fact that corporate executives are quite plainly using their insider status to make unfair profits on their company's stock, while you, the average unconnected jerk, remain poor. Today is that day.

Hmmmmm a 5.1 magnitude earthquake rocked Toronto this morning. Weird!

Yes, Omar Little was booked on possession of a handgun in Baltimore this weekend. No, silly, it's not Omar Little the awesome gay vigilante who terrorized the drug dealers of Charm City that we all rooted for on The Wire, this was a real Omar Little. Turns out, he also favors a life of crime.

Andy Rooney's college roommate, Bob Ruthman, died of a heart attack today while attending the 60 Minutes staple's memorial luncheon at the Century Club in Manhattan. They lived together at Colgate University in the '40s. When you have a bunch of 90 year-olds hanging out together, this is probably a statistical inevitability. And with that, the last two remaining members of the Colgate Class of '43 went out in style.

For most students, college is a time to experiment with identity and find out who you really are. What happens when you happen to share a name with one of the most famous and controversial figures in American politics? [Jezebel]

Two earthquakes hit southern Spain in quick succession today, resulting in several deaths and widespread damage. This comes on the day some predicted an earthquake would destroy Rome, which resulted in thousands fleeing the city. Looks like the prophesy was only off by a few countries. Let's hope those exiled Italians didn't head to Spain.

Rodney King was pulled over and cited for driving without a license one day before the 20th anniversary of his riot-sparking beating. Meanwhile LAPD Chief Charlie Becker said a similar beating could never happen in this day and age.

Slate, a website perpetually stuck in the interrogative case, provides an artfully useless Explainer column: Q: "Is there a reason so many murderers use their middle names?" A: "It seems to be a coincidence." Jared Lee Loughner's language conspiracy: disproved.

There is an uncanny resemblance between Usher's 2010 hit "OMG" and Homer Simpson's Christmas carol from the season 14 episode "Dude, Where's My Ranch?" See for yourself, if only to hear a Usher / Homer duet.

Accused of raping starlets, movie composer Joseph Brooks appeared in court today, four days after his son appeared in the same courthouse for attempted murder. Just like in the movies, the bailiffs broke into song: "It's a family affa-a-air." [NYDN]

The written word is not Rihanna's friend. Here, she poses with children while wearing a necklace that says "Fuck You." Don't you hate it when adorable children interfere with your badass 'tude?

Rolling Stone's Matt Taibbi famously called Goldman Sachs the "great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity, relentlessly jamming its blood funnel into anything that smells like money." Turns out Nazi cartoonists came up with that image first.

How many fortunate coincidences can one family have? First, three successive generations of Sulzbergers become publishers of the New York Times. Then young A.G. Sulzberger lands a reporting gig there. Now another Sulzberger relatives's joining the paper! Total insanity.

Everyone sold off their stock this morning. Everyone, that is, except for people who own shares in health insurers. They're thrilled that Obama's health care plan is being watered down so that it won't include government-run health plans.