Nominees for the 51st Grammy Awards were announced. Big winners: Coldplay (seven nominations), Lil Wayne (eight nominations, white nerds are gonna flip), Jazmine Sullivan (new R&B singers gets five noms) and M.I.A., nominated for record of the year (Idolator: "!!!!!!!!"). For the latter, stock up on cave-aged gruyere for the dressing room and prepare the cameras for an ultra-close-up during any self-undermining comments from the singer about how she has so not sold out the struggle (and performance too plz?). Robbed:

Whether you take or leave Coldplay mostly depends on your taste for their brand of overproduced nursery rhymes and moody rock-star glowering. But what of the megaband's performance this past weekend on Saturday Night Live, with frontman Chris Martin bounding through Studio 8A like a sort of atonal Bono? What of that insistent pitchiness and those karaoke-grade moves underscoring his most recent album's title track "Viva la Vida" — the single on which Coldplay's label EMI was counting to help rescue it from certain insolvency in 2009? In a post-Groban world where any court jester who tries hard enough can usurp his king's crown, is Martin's lunacy the un-self-conscious work of a born performer, or just another postmodern, funk-faking harbinger of SNL's obsolescence? We could go either way, though (SPOILER ALERT) the inspired back-bend at the end puts this just over the top for us every time. Team Coldplay? We think? [NBC]

In a world where everything old is new again, the latest cultural relic to get its return to the spotlight is that staple of 80's cheese: the exercise instructional video. First resurrected by noted Americana anthropologist Heidi Montag, the fitness tape is set to receive its most high-profile update yet, says Marie Claire. Filling Jane Fonda's leotard this time will be none other than Oscar winner Gwyneth Paltrow, who will share the secrets of how to attain a body worth baring in the pages of GQ and gams that could transfix even the most jaded talk show host:

After the Tuesday night Coldplay concert in Inglewood, the maybe star of Inglorious Bastards Leonardo DiCaprio tried to make a quick exit. Unfortunately for DiCaprio, assortments of photographers were ready to greet him by his luxury car. Like a man whose just been caught cheating, DiCaprio reluctantly admitted that he likes Coldplay, but only "about this much."

Bride Of Chucky star Katherine Heigl and husband/rocker Joshua Kelley ran into a bit of trouble with an old man while on way to the Coldplay concert. The commotion began when Heigl made a stop in an Los Angeles area neighborhood to pick up an friend. As soon as she stepped out of the car, Heigl was greeted by paparazzi and fans taking pictures. The old man, reportedly named Mr. Johnson, came out storming out of his 2 bedroom ranch when the flashbulbs and clamor made it nearly impossible for him and his wife, Gertrude, to watch America's Got Talent. Mr. Johnson told Heigl that if she didn't leave by the count of ten, he would turn the hose on them. A panicked Joshua Kelley grabbed Heigl and headed into the car, explaining that he didn't want to get his hair wet.

After being dropped off in Inglewood for the Coldplay concert, Eva Longoria Parker and husband Tony Parker checked their respective messages on their new iPhones. Yet the twosome became so enchanted with their new phones that they missed the concert altogether. Longoria Parker had noticed that they missed the show when the car service came back to pick them up. The driver asked if they enjoyed the concert after pulling up, but Longoria Parker thought that the man had just dropped them off. The Over Her Dead Body star realized that they had been spending all their time on their phones. Longoria asked if her husband knew that they had missed the concert, but Parker said that he had been watching Coldplay videos on YouTube; so, it was similar to being at the concert, only minus the spilt beer smell.

We may not be the president of often smug, S&M footwear devotee Gwyneth Paltrow's fan club, but based on husband Chris Martin's recent cover story in Rolling Stone, we may consider joining based solely on her taste in men. The Coldplay front man, deemed "The Jesus Of Uncool" on the mag's cover, gives an interview that reveals that thoughts both homoerotic and apocalyptic (not to mention a severe case of Brad Pitt Penis Envy) are running through his brilliant but damaged head. Our favorite moments after the jump unmask Martin's incredibly forthright confessions regarding his assurance that Barack Obama will "fuck up" America for good, his lifelong love affair with "fantastic" boobs, and the apparent gay phase he went through while growing up. For example:

It has been many, many moons since Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Pitt broke it off, but that doesn't mean that Gwyneth is immune to the jealousy that Angelina Jolie and her multi-national brood of infants inspires. In the new issue of Harper’s Bazaar, Paltrow tells the mag that, “I may force myself to [get pregnant] one more time because the result is so worth it...And also my [late] dad said to me that his only regret in life was that he had only two children and he didn't have more." Though we doubt Coldplay frontman Chris Martin finds these loving words inspiring when it comes to slipping into the sheets with his hooker-heeled wife, Paltrow seems to feel the Apocalypse will officially begin if he doesn't. You see, she’s just the best mother in the whole world (aside from Dina Lohan, that is), and “owes it to humanity” to produce another spawn. Also? Her late father was reincarnated as her hair,and chopping it off made her go “...aaah!” An explanation, after the jump:

Any guy insensitive enough to the tastes of his fellow bar patrons to karaoke a Coldplay song deserves whatever beating he gets. The victim in question is just lucky that the girl didn't have a broken bottle of Bud Light handy to finsih the job. [TSG]

Today's Thursday Styles Rosenbloomination on parents who let their kids make their decisions for them has some fun tidbits, it's true. A mom is letting her son daughter advise her on how to remodel the bathroom (pictured)! Another kiddo "turned her mother on to the band Coldplay"—"It's not a sort of 'You're so lame, Mom,' situation at all," says the mom. But then about halfway through there's this blob of random:

Gwyneth Paltrow has a long list of places she wouldn't dare step foot into for various health-safety reasons, beginning with the United States, and now, public restrooms:

· Rosie O'Donnell offers her opinion on Martha Stewart's Apprentice, in her inimitable psycho-haiku form: "greed killed the apprentice/like it did millionaire/more is not always better/4 marthas//burnett phoned it in/shame shame shame/y was she in donalds board room/and not her barn in bedford/just lazy really...vision gets blurred/loss of perspective/money makes most dizzy/katrina killed reality tv." Whoa, big R, way to harsh our buzz with that dark finish.
· Lewis Black to get loudly agitated over low-pressure systems.
· If crashing into the electricity substation doesn't kill you, the bees certainly will. [via BoingBoing]
· If you're really, really lucky, Coldplay's Chris Martin may call you and croon some of his trademark brand of future elevator music into your cellphone.
· Brazilians finally develop, but refuse to deploy, gay-television-kiss technology.