A study finds that a cheap, simple portfolio of three Vanguard index funds achieved better returns over five and ten years than almost all of the college endowments in America, which pay huge fees to hedge funds and elite money managers. Keep fuckin that chicken, smart people.

New York University, both the city’s largest school and its largest land-grabber, is finally ending its long tradition of awarding top administrators with lavish real estate. Just kidding—it’s actually doing the exact opposite.

A racist flyer that made waves on social media today after a resident of an Irvine, Ca. apartment building found it hanging in an elevator is fraudulent, according to a spokesman for property company Equity Residential.

Academic conferences. They're scary. You put yourself and your research out there to be shredded by "colleagues" and hiring committees. But one top-flight humanities conference wants to put you at ease. With live-action role play and prizes. Yes, it's time for a sparklepony quest!

How could a Forbes article that opened with "university professors have a lot less stress than most of us" go so wrong?

College fraternity Sigma Alpha Epsilon—"Same Assholes Everywhere," if we remember correctly—was just hit with a $25 million lawsuit over the death of a Cornell first-year, allegedly thanks to a hazing ritual gone wrong.

After last year's deeply embarrassing Shirley Sherrod episode, you'd think people would have learned their lesson about conservative publisher Andrew Breitbart. But no! The University of Missouri has asked a professor to resign thanks to another stupid Breitbart video. Ugh.

The University of Texas shooter's been identified as 19 year-old sophomore math major Colton Tooley.

The Austin Statesman is reporting an "active shooting situation" on the University of Texas campus. A spokeswoman says an "armed suspect" in the Perry-Casteneda library (pictured) has shot himself. No word on other victims yet. Updates below.

"For-profit" colleges have come under fire for saddling students with big debts in exchange for dim job prospects. But what about "real" colleges? They're pushing huge debts on students, too. We crunched the numbers to find the worst (NYU).

God damn teenagers: they're going to (community) college in record numbers. Also they're finishing high school in record numbers, because why not?

My only experience on a college newspaper was a mandatory one-semester period, the highlight of which was the adviser rejecting most of my stories for not being "serious" enough, and telling me menacingly, "People who work with me tend to do better professionally." (Confidential to that lady: Suck on the splendor of my cramped studio apartment, yea!). Some people parlay the editorship of their school papers into a nice journalism job—for example, every last employee of the New York Times was once editor-in-chief of the Harvard Crimson. Which is fine! Although it does increase your risk of being kind of a twit. Now college papers, like real papers, are having serious financial troubles. How to save them? Don't save them! The University of California- Berkeley and Syracuse University both had to cut their print papers back to four days a week recently, since they were losing money. Howard University had to stop printing its daily paper completely for several months earlier this year, until it was bailed out to the tune of $48,000. Of course, all these papers continued to publish online. The editor of the Syracuse paper said that "online readership was as high as it usually is" even when print publishing got cut. So tell us again: Why the fuck is it necessary for a college paper to publish a print edition at all? They're serving an audience where every last person has access to the internet. If a print edition isn't profitable, cut it. It's that simple. College papers are there for training purposes, primarily. There's no reason at all a college paper can't sell ads online, put all its content online, and be just as widely read as it was before. Print editions of college papers are either fully subsidized by advertising (which is getting harder, obviously), or they have some kind of endowment, or the university kicks in money to help them pay their expenses. Why not take that money and hire some laid-off journalists to teach these kids journalism? This way another former journalist would find a job, and janitors would have fewer things to pick up after entitled college kids, thereby cooling the simmering class war on campuses, leading to fewer administration buildings takeovers by young leftists channeling their rage into fair wage campaigns for university employees. College papers almost all suck, anyhow. [Inside Higher Ed]

Meet Michele A. Hernandez, a former admissions officer at Dartmouth who is now the most expensive college coach in the country. "Few of the 4,000 independent college counselors now scattered around the country can match Hernandez' influence or earning power. Early on, she began offering college-admissions counseling for students in eighth grade—yes, eighth grade—an approach that is becoming more common. Since 2005, she has run application boot camps in Manhattan and Santa Monica, Calif., which this summer cost $9,500 and are sure to attract imitators. Hernandez says she earned almost $1 million last year." [BusinessWeek]