Gold, the favored investment of Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, and the old man at the post office who invited you over to see his industrial-size canned bean supply room, is down for the third straight year.

As recently as last year, oil cost close to $110 a barrel. Today, oil costs less than $37 a barrel. Why? There’s so much god damn oil!

The stock market is bananas. Why bother? There are plenty of other places to put your money. Which type of investment is right for you?

Did you like the part of the global economic meltdown where world governments had to step in to save the financial markets from total collapse? Then you'll love the part where they start rationing our food and oil supplies!

Having neglected to take to heart the dire lessons of the classic muckraking documentary Trading Places, Wall Street has apparently turned its deadly attention to the commodities futures market. [NYT]