At long last, P.S. I Love You, a heart-string-tugging romantic fable about a gay Spartan warrior and a drag king boxer's inability to make love work, arrives in theaters today. As promising as that setup sounds, the reviews are mostly terrible, with the Hilary Swank/Gerard Butler vehicle inspiring movie critics to some of their most creatively bilious work in recent memory:

Tribune almost-owner Sam Zell visited the Los Angeles Times headquarters recently. How'd it go? Allegedly, "In his talk to the assembled staffers, he said he found the paper 'pretty bland.' He pissed on the business section. He ran down the importance of foreign coverage as opposed to local news. Asked whether front-page ads compromised the integrity of the paper, he called that idea a 'crock of shit.' He made a big point of saying the paper had to print what readers wanted to read, not what LAT editors wanted them to read—an idea that's pretty much in complete conflict with the existing DNA of the Times (which deemed L.A. mayor Hahn's divorce while he was in office not worth discussing, and reported Lindsay Lohan's arrest, after she mowed down some bushes in Beverly Hills, on page B3). All in all, Zell studded his spiel with bad omens for the paper's entrenched twits.'" Hmm, we're starting to like this guy! [Kausfiles]