What's the funniest thing about this video of people nearly rioting over a $2 waffle iron at Wal-Mart? Probably the bit where it embodies everything awesome about America, including a horrible economy, aggressive consumerism, mindless violence and a complete lack of concern for one's fellow human beings. And let's not forget internet rubbernecking and smug class hatred, sure to arrive soon in comments on all the finest sites on the web! Happy Black Friday, everyone! [@HurrAKAneCam19 via Short Form Blog]

You know what's yet one more great thing about the gay people? Their consumer consciousness! They're early adopters, they're curious consumers—and they buy a HECK of a lot of phones. Here's author Jack Shamama's recent phone history, annotated. It's true what they say: a single gay can pretty much keep the economy happily spinning! And here's another fun anecdotal fact. Nearly half of the iPhone buyers we know are of the gay persuasion. Look around at the swishy corner of your office and tell us it's not true.

In our frequent scurryings between Balthazar and the office, we couldn't help but notice a new window display at Sur La Table, at Crosby and Spring. More than a red robin, more than the sprouting of croci or the appearance of toe cleavage, Jimmy Buffet's Frozen Concoction Maker is the true harbinger of springtime. "Built to Party" (but not to spill), the monstrous contraption with key-lime accents goes for $300. A tacky ticket to Margaritaville doesn't come cheap! But there's booze in the blender, and soon it will render that frozen concoction that helps me hang on.