Anne Rice is famous for writing crazy books about vampires, living in a spooky house, and , strangely, being a big Christian. UPDATE: Anne Rice is no longer a Christian.

Oh, look: metrosexual Bible Details landed America's biggest gay pop star for a cover shoot. A very heterosexual cover shoot. (He sorta kisses a girl!!) No, Details doesn't look gay at all.

Erich Muller, a rightwing Chicago shockjock known as "Mancow," recently agreed to be waterboarded to prove to all the big liberals that it's totally harmless and lasted all of six seconds. He appeared on Keith Olbermann's show to discuss how horribly misguided his views on waterboarding were previously.

Though Hitler-hating box office juggernaut Will Smith has long been cagey about whether the "introduction" to Scientology he says he received from Tom Cruise was merely a delicious, innocuous Sunday brunch at the Celebrity Centre, or a more in-depth primer including a grueling, three-day auditing session that ended only when the broken former Fresh Prince star tearfully confessed to murdering Alfonso Ribeiro's career, Smith may have finally tipped his hand about the extent of his alleged involvement with the Church.

Oh my God. It just occurred to us. Ivanka Trump is so going to convert down the road to marry Observer publisher Jared Kushner! There will be at last a Jewish Trump! She's just like Charlotte on "Sex and the City." I am wringing my hands and maybe going to cry!