Yesterday, I planned to write a blistering takedown of the FDA’s latest consumer update, a document bearing the laughable title “Raw Dough’s a Raw Deal and Could Make You Sick.” I even had two working headlines, “FDA Warns Against Raw Cookie Dough But Life is Short Go Hard” and “Chickenshit FDA Issues Raw Cookie Dough ‘Warning.” Alas, I can no longer go forward.

I have, on at least one prior occasion, said that I hoped to one day die in a giant vat of cookie dough. A terrible story out of Houston, in which a 26-year-old man was found dead inside a giant industrial-sized fortune cookie mixer on Sunday, makes me feel like I should take it back.

Nestle found E. coli in Toll House cookie dough this week, but they caught it before it left the factory. Plus they are really into "no E. Coli" since last year's huge E. coli cookie dough recall. So, eat up!