The prayers of the deranged have been answered: Crime is back in Times Square. On Sunday, a man dressed as Cookie Monster was arrested in the Midtown hellhole after allegedly groping a 16-year-old tourist.

The years-long litigation involving a Los Angeles third-grade teacher who blindfolded his students and forced them to eat cookies made with his semen ended last month with a $140 million settlement between the school district and the victims.

In a dry spell without Last Week Tonight, we're still getting plenty of John Oliver. He spoofed Sesame Street in a segment about prisons last month, and now he's teamed up with Cookie Monster to anchor a news show about vocabulary words. It's sort of like Last Week Tonight, but with less cursing and more monsters.

With artist Andy Golub's semi-nude body-paint models doing their semi-nude body-paint thing in the heart of Times Square, many passers-by couldn't help but stop and admire the, um, art.

It's been a rough year for people who make their living masquerading as beloved children's characters in New York City. Last summer, there was the sad case of Central Park's Jew-hating Elmo (who, by the way, is named Adam Sandler). Two months ago, a man dressed as Spider-Man in Times Square claimed to be the victim of a vicious snowball attack from a stingy mom. Monday morning, the streak continued when a man in a Cookie Monster suit was arrested for allegedly shoving a two-year-old boy.

A German resident who goes by the alias Krümel Monster (Cookie Monster) is on the run from the law after lifting a 44-pound Golden Cookie that has stood guard over the Hannover headquarters of world-famous biscuit maker Bahlsen for the past century.

So it seems that in order to promote their 43rd season, the PR people over at Sesame Street have been recklessly booking all of their cracked-out muppets on (for the most part) already intolerable television shows. Consequently, America's best and brightest TV personalities were forced to interact with furry, 3-foot-tall, talking, moving stuffed animals that can't even appear on camera without some sort of table or podium concealing all of their sticks and wires.

As anyone who has been online for a minute knows, a meme isn't truly a meme until Sesame Street spoofs it.

Sesame Street's Elmo, Telly, and Cookie Monster put the All Stars's cookie-making skills to the test last night. Watch resident expert Cookie Monster and friends give the most informed and adorable critiques of any guest judges this season.

Emboldened, one imagines, by the successful internet campaign to have actress Betty White host Saturday Night Live, famous cookie monster Cookie Monster has started his own SNL-hosting campaign with this audition tape, complete with a cookie Lady Gaga.

Here's the latest release from Sesame Street's YouTube channel—a tape of Cookie Monster auditioning to be a cast member on Saturday Night Live. Who knew that he had a passion beyond cookies?

Today at Gawker.TV, Bill Clinton proposes a new way of looking at green energy for NYC, HIMYM features baby drama and lesbians, Hillary Clinton's hair disaster, and what happens when you dub Kevin from The Office's voice over Cookie Monster?