"Kansas City's urban core has become known as a cool place to live." Is this true? My god.

This is your periodic update on what is hip.

When you think of "hip," there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that, just after you think "the joint between the femur and acetabulum of the pelvis," you think, "Washington, DC, which is just a hip darn area in general." DC is so hip that it will unilaterally declare itself hip, facts be damned.

As a connoisseur of cultural detritus, you've probably seen this ad in which purported actor "Stephen Dorff," looking weary from days of dogged stubble-trimming, juts his chin repeatedly in your direction while explaining why he chooses to smoke Blu™ brand e-cigarettes, besides the fact that he is their paid spokesman. "Negative! One! I'm tired of being a walking ashtray," says "Stephen Dorff," no doubt bathed in Tom Ford cologne at that very moment.

Let's get a few things straight right off the bat. Number ONE, the "Millennial" generation is the best generation, because they are currently the most fuckable-looking, and therefore their every whim and desire must be obsequiously catered to by the corporate forces seeking to exploit their "cool" factor for profit; Number TWO, all food must be recast in the image of whatever a corporation imagines the Millennial Image to be; and Number THREE, soup is great, mmmm, soup. We must have some Campbell's Millennial Soup.

In Washington the District of Columbia, hipness is not just something you put on and take off every day like a "wacky" tie showing a photo of Richard Nixon meeting Elvis Presley; it is a way of life. And DC's young, hip vibe is not just limited to young nerds—old nerds are getting in on the act as well.

An ironclad rule of hipness is that if you're looking for hipness, the best place to start your search is within the paragraphs of a newspaper article with the word "Hip" featured prominently in the headline. Mainstream newspaper stories explaining phenomena deemed "Hip" by mainstream newspaper editors: where hipness lives.

Good news: Miraculous internet jukebox Spotify will reportedly power Facebook's music service, bringing the world closer to a future in which music is much more freely shared, suggested and collaboratively compiled. As it should be.

What do you get when you take a white board, some markers, and a street artist who can create incredibly detailed and accurate drawings of animals in mere seconds—with both hands? You get this video, and it's awesome.

The beauty of video is that you can share something awesome with others, even from across the world. Case in point: this mesmerizing Japanese water display, filled with an endless cascade of shapes, symbols, words—even animals! Video inside.

If you are really familiar with what the fuck is up then you know that Aaron "A-Ron" Bondaroff is a downtown LES cool guy for hire, founder of the aNYthing brand, and generally, you know, the man with the brand that is downtown, and all that, once upon a time.