Know why we are special? Because while Atlantan internet-dating nightmare John Fitzgerald Page only saw fit to address you via an open letter on his website, he sent us a personal message with the subject line, "My official response." It has all the elements that made the original email to a woman who'd rejected his advances on Match.com so attention gettingly douchey, but instead of telling us how fat and ugly we must be because we don't want to date him, he explains to us that we're lucky he's not getting his "legal team involved."

Hey, remember that wannabe i-banker douchebag Alexsey Vayner and his insanely braggy resume video? Do you recall Eric Schaeffer, the failed writer/director who hates women and blogs about how he can't believe he's still single? Well, what if they met and married and through some breakthrough in medical science had a baby? He would probably grow up to be something along the lines of Atlanta's John Fitzgerald Page, who in addition to working in corporate finance, being a part-time trainer, and being available for work as a "costumed character" or a "stand-in," also somehow finds the time in his day to be a colossal, mindbogglingly douchey douchebag to girls he meets on Match.com!

Utter nuttiness in the Voice today concerning Dr. Brad Jacobs, the Upper East Side plastic surgeon who's been accused of everything from purposely giving patients outsize boob jobs to smoking crystal meth with a patient, having sex with her while she was recovering from a nosejob and "deforming her face." Gross. So what's Dr. Brad got to say in his own defense? Well, it's 2007, so he's got an open letter up on a website. It's kind of a Crap Email From A Dude!