Whoa, hey, back up, what? We thought it was super crazy that South African sprinter Caster Semenya had to go through complicated tests to prove she's actually a woman, just because she....whoa, she's not actually a woman!

Well, that was inevitable, huh? While there may have been a glimmer of a chance that the almost-sort-of likable Syesha could claw her way into the final two, it certainly came as no big surprise to find that she did not, in fact, pull it off. The David on David finale that the producers have been blatantly gunning for has come to fruition and it is going to be boring. Because I don't like either of them. I'd rather see a dust mop win than the breathy, floppy-faced Archuleta, but Cook has been increasingly annoying too, with his repetitive "start soft than go biiiiig" motif and his odd, fake-humble bows to the audience. But all that blah blah aside, the truly important part of last night was previous Idol winner Fantasia Barrino's absolutely batshit insane, chicken dancing, terribly-fun-to-watch, voodoo ritual of a performance. Simon was shocked! Archuleta looked like he was going to faint! Even if you're not a fan of the show, it's worth a watch, after the jump.

Rolling Stone and Us Weekly owner Jann Wenner and his partner, Matt Nye, (for whom he dropped his wife, Jane) are expecting twins in January, according to Business Week's Jon Fine. The newest little Wenners will join his current army of four. But this party is just beginning—the interview transcript is something to behold. Some highlights!

All charges against Village Voice Media executives Mike Lacey and Jim Larkin were dropped over the weekend, and the special prosecutor running the case against their paper, the Phoenix New Times, has been fired. (The paper was exploring misconduct by a local law official.) The Arizona State Bar is now investigating the prosecutor's conduct in the case, in which there were "serious missteps," according to the county D.A., who... is now also being investigated by the bar!

Donald Trump, that arbiter of good taste and sound judgment, is reviving his twice-failed namesake magazine in November with the help of upscale publishing house Ocean Drive Media Group. The last iteration of the magazine, Trump World, dispensed with staff payroll for the last two months of a brief, debt-filled existence under publisher Michael Jacobson and Premiere Publishing Group. "It's the third relaunch of a brand that dozens of advertisers won't go near, on a publication schedule that guarantees nothing can be timely or more than marginally detailed, being done for a man with no compunctions about screwing his licensees into the ground," a (totally disgruntled, for obvious reasons) former staffer told us.

From the mailbag: "I work in Columbus Circle and just now there were just what appeared to be a bunch of open-deck tour buses full of people synchronized-screaming going around and around the circle. It was extremely loud and scary! They were just going 'AHHHHHHHHHH!' Everyone in the office agrees that this is what the Apocalypse is going to sound like." If you can elucidate any further, please do, but at this point nothing about this fucking city surprises us anymore.

Curbed came across some utterly ridiculous plans for a new tower planned to desecrate the Lower East Side. Dubbed the Delancey Tower, the building was designed by Harlem architects Peter L. Gluck and Partners and was to rise opposite the azure excrescence known as Blue. But the fact that the firm seemed to be using pre-chewed gum to build models made us suspect the thing has less of a viable future than Sanjaya. We're delighted to report the building is indeed stymied, or in the words of architect Tommy Gluck, "temporarily on hold." And if the building's experience of being on hold is anything like our experience of being on hold, that hold will be interminable and cruel, and scored to Vivaldi's Spring.