The Minnesota man who masturbated into the coffee cup of a co-worker he had a crush on pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge of indecent exposure on Thursday.

The Scottish bassist and singer best known for his role in '60s group Cream died in his home in Suffolk, England on Saturday, a statement from his family said.

Are you rich? No? Then the servicey aspect of this post this probably doesn't apply to you. But if you're rich, you probably want to know how you can be richer, right? Here's the secret: Do less work. And the work you do, do it worse. In other words, be a hedge fund manager!

Ever wanted to be a policeman in Chicago? No? Me neither! But maybe we should all consider career changes, seeing as a few Chicago policemen (and other various city personnel) are probably making much more than you or I in overtime pay alone. The Inspector General of Chicago recently released its report for the fourth quarter of 2012, which includes the amount of overtime paid to city employees last year. It is a list of people that have figured their shit out.

Sit down before reading this. Jackson's doctor, Conrad Murray, apparently returned to the singer's house after his death to pick up some mystery creams "so that the world wouldn't find out about it." Those creams were skin whitening creams, the AP has revealed to a wildly unsurprised world. [AP]

Hillary Clinton "loaned herself" $13 million last January, when she was losing to Barack Obama in the primaries, and now she has written that loan off, so the 2008 primaries are finally over.

Remember the last month of the campaign, when Barack Obama and David Plouffe would not stop emailing you begging for money? Oh, we need all the money in the world to beat these evil Republicans, they whined. It's all up to you! Send us a dollar or you won't get to abort your baby who'll be drafted to fight in Iraq for 100 years! Well it turns out they were running against an erratic old nut and his slow friend from church, and so even after they wasted a zillion extra dollars in the last three days of campaigning, the Obama campaign still ended up with $30 million left in the bank. $30 million!