Due to the summer’s “right combination” of heat and drought coupled with July and August rainfall, Oklahoma residents are facing a major cricket infestation. The bugs, according to Oklahoma City resident Steve Swanson, are “everywhere. Literally everywhere.” And due to the cricket’s “tendency toward cannibalism,” killing them only makes the situation worse. Especially when the crickets smell exactly like “rotting flesh” when dead.

Where, exactly, are you supposed to start when the New York Times runs a Page One media piece on the word "douche"?