Cristina Warthen, who worked her way through Stanford Law as an escort and later pled guilty to tax evasion, has been sentenced to one year home detention and ordered to pay $243,000 in back taxes and fines.

Before she married an Ask.com cofounder, Cristina Warthen (née Schultz) advertised escort services online as "Brazil" and boasted of making enough to pay for her Stanford law degree. She has pleaded guilty to tax evasion.

Geeks always think they will trick the system by being smart. They fail. It's no different when intensely brainy women take up escorting over the Internet, like Stanford Law graduate Cristina Warthen, in court this month facing federal tax evasion charges. As sophisticated as the sex trade is, there's still no magic solution for how to hide the money. The Feds claim Warthen hid cash in a safe-deposit box, her apartment, a storage locker, and even law-school textbooks they found in the trash. I've watched clients nerd out over this on message boards for years, trying to come up with the foolproof plan. There isn't one.The under-the-mattress route. The plus side: You'll avoid getting caught up in antiterrorism sweeps. From loading up throwaway debit cards at Walgreen's to starting offshore corporations under proxy boards in Nevis, there's just no way to handle thousands of dollars in cash without straying into money-laundering territory. The risk here is that large stacks of dollar bills can be found if your home is searched. Not being Al Capone. An escort who finds an understanding tax attorney could just pay the Fed what they're due — or at least, close enough. Warthen tried this route. It, too, failed her. And why? Living smaller. Her Benz and her pad didn't add up for someone who only declared $13,000 in annual income. As one message board client who claims to have known Warthen wondered, how different might this have gone down if she'd just driven a Honda Accord? Watching the weakest link. No matter what elaborate James Bond ideas you've got, there's always a coworker crazier than you who, when she gets into her own trouble, will out you. It wasn't a client sting or even a tax audit that brought "Brazil" to the attention of the lawman: it was a careless Orange County madam. When she was picked up by her own local law enforcement, that led cops to investigate Warthen. That's why they were sitting in wait outside of her apartment, and that's why they found $2,400 in cash tucked into law books thrown out with her trash. (Photo by RM Studios)

Cristina Warthen, née Schultz, aka Brazil, has been charged with the crime of federal tax evasion stemming from $25,424 in unpaid taxes in income earned as an escort in 2003. A previous civil case stemming from a seizure of $61,000 in cash from her Oakland apartment in 2004 after authorities found her bragging about her income on escort service message boards was settled in 2006. Warthen is married to Ask.com cofounder David Warthen, who had asserted the cash on hand was a gift to his then girlfriend. Prosecutors allege that the Stanford Law graduate earned $133,717 in 2003 and took home $81,797 after expenses, for which she owes federal income tax. Warthen has a date scheduled at the federal district court in San Jose later this month.

Stanford's new financial aid policy, had it gone into effect a bit sooner, might have killed the Valley's own Pretty Woman story: David Warthen, cofounder of Ask.com, married alleged Stanford Law escort Cristina "Brazil" Shultz just four months after Schultz's assets — $61,000 in cash — were seized by the government. From her postings on escort's clients' review boards, bragging of paying off student loans with her new night job, the IRS deduced she must have a lot of unpaid taxes: At $1,300 per two-hour "modeling" appointment, $5,000 for "overnight," and over 80 men claiming they'd been her clients — hey, do the math. After becoming her husband, Warthen was able to convince the Feds that the money was a gift from him, meant as "a benefit for the both of them". Talk trash if you must, but since they likely met on the job, Warthen is telling the truth. Carry on, Jeeves! (Photo by RM Studios)