Tinsley Mortimer's bargain-basement CW reality show premiered last night! Boy was it an ugly mess. It's gotten to the point where I can't really tell if shows like this are actually entertaining or not. I just watch them and gurgle.

Socialite Tinsley Mortimer may have a reality TV show in the works—it's called Empire State, by the way—but many of her society friends have been trying to steer clear of it. Last week, word emerged that the show's producers had found a couple of randoms to serve as regulars, including Hannah Bronfman (the daughter of Edgar Bronfman Jr.) and Paul Johnson-Calderon, a guy best known for stealing a purse earlier this year. But there's further evidence that producers are having a tough time finding people willing to associate themselves with the show.

More bad news for Kelly Bensimon. A socialite gets engaged, and an actress turns 30. Plus the requisite Jennifer Aniston sadness news and word of Madonna's continued disgraces.

• Madonna fell off a horse while riding at photographer Steven Klein's house in Bridgehampton on Saturday. She wasn't seriously injured, but don't think for a minute she's taking any blame for the spill. Her flack blamed the accident on a rogue paparazzo who jumped out of the bushes and startled the horse, although both the photographer in question and the police don't share that account. [NYDN, NYP, E!]
• Uma Thurman and Arpad Busson were rumored to be getting hitched in the Bahamas on Saturday, although there's still no word on whether any ceremony actually took place. [People, UPI]
• Has Lindsay Lohan gone straight? She was spotted "flirting relentlessly" with a group of guys including Leonardo DiCaprio at a club last week. [Sun]
• Rumor has it Naomi Campbell is thinking of moving to Moscow so she can be closer to boyfriend Vladislav Doronin. Say it isn't so! [DS]

♦ Is Naomi Campbell planning a secret wedding with her Russian boyfriend Vladimir Doronin later this month? Her reps say no, although the new emerald and diamond ring she sported in Miami this past weekend seems to suggest otherwise. [Mirror, NYDN, DS]
♦ Alex Rodriguez had a busy Thanksgiving. He spent half of Thursday with his ex-wife and kids and the other half with Madonna before jetting off to Mexico City with Madge. [NYDN, NYP]
♦ Amy Winehouse's estranged husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, says he was responsible for turning his wife into a junkie, and that he has to "let her go to save her life." [NYDN, People]
♦ Giants star Plaxico Burress, who shot himself in the leg while partying at Latin Quarter on Friday night, turned himself in this morning. [NYP, Newsday]

» The Liv Tyler-hosted party for Hearts on Fire diamonds at the Rose Bar was the hottest ticket in one of the busiest social weeks of the year: Leonardo DiCaprio, Alexandra & Theodora Richards (who DJed), Keith Richards, Elizabeth Banks, Catherine Keener, Mena Suvari, Dave Navarro, Ellen von Unwerth, Tara Subkoff, Alan Cumming, Tinsley Mortimer, Adrian Grenier, Sean Avery, Emma Roberts, Monet Mazur, Richie Rich, Ingrid Sischy, Jamie Burke, Russell Simmons, Lauren Santo Domingo, Diego Garcia, Andrew Saffir and Daniel Benedict all stopped by. [The Daily/Paper]

(1) The 9th annual Art For Life Benefit took place on Saturday at Russell Simmons' East Hampton house. Despite tickets not selling out as fast as usual, the event played host to Aretha Franklin, Christy Turlington, Lorraine Bracco, Soledad O'Brien, David Paterson, Diddy, Padma Lakshmi, Brett Ratner, LA Reid, the cast of Real Housewives of New York, Al Roker, Kelly Bensimon, Alina Cho, Simon de Pury, and Porschla Coleman—whose break up with Simmons, judging by their behavior, is either incredibly amicable or no longer in effect. [PMc]

(1) Attendees at Sephora's party at the Angel Orensanz foundation last night included Lydia Hearst, Kelly Osbourne, Kat Von D, Nicky Hilton, Dani Stahl, Ali Wise, Jason Preston, Mike Satsky, Olivia Palermo, and Shoshanna Lonstein Gruss. The crowd, though, was more impressed by the presence of out-and-proud couple Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson (above, with half-sister Annabelle) than by performances by Ashanti and Natasha Bedingfield. [Elle/PMc]