Last night, on Saturday Night Live, Dakota Johnson graduated from high school and joined ISIS. Her proud and teary-eyed dad, played by Taran Killiam, dropped her off. "Death to America," shouted an ISIS fighter played by Kyle Mooney.

As prophesied by Beyoncé's Instagram, here's the first trailer for the film adaptation of E.L. James's insanely popular erotic Twilight fanfiction novel Fifty Shades of Grey. The movie stars Dakota Johnson as Anastasia Steele and Once Upon a Time's Jamie Dornan as Christian Grey's abs.

It appears Aaron Sorkin has confirmed many of the casting choices for his upcoming Facebook movie. If only Silicon Valley were this good looking. There's someone from Gossip Girl, Melanie Griffith's daughter — even a very built male model.

♦ Julia Restoin Roitfeld might call herself a designer, but apparently the fat fees from modeling are hard to resist: She's been cast in the new Mango campaign along with celebuspawn Dakota Johnson Griffith. [WWD]
♦ PR maven Kelly Cutrone may play a hard-nosed bitch on The Hills, but in real life she's all heart: After reading about Marie Conde, who fought with three muggers who snatched her purse, Cutrone collected gifts for the 26-year-old nurse's aide, including Longchamp purses, jewelry, and dinner at the SoHo Grand. [NYP]
♦ During an interview conducted, of course, lying down in a hotel room at Claridge's in London, Diane von Furstenberg is expansive on matters personal (such as her first and only female lover), her "naughtiness" during the seventies, and her political opinions: Barack Obama is "so intelligent and very detached... It gives him perspective." [Telegraph]

• Showbiz spawn Elettra Wiedemann Rossellini (left) and Dakota Johnson, along with nightlifer Leigh Lezark, are the new faces of Italian leather company Hogan. [Teen Vogue]

The complicated family dynamic between Miss Golden Globe Dakota Johnson and famous mom Melanie Griffith that first unfolded on stage during the Globes ceremony seemed to further develop in front of the wire service firing squad on the way to the after-parties. Stopping to momentarily bathe in the shower of flashbulbs en route to the Warner Bros/InStyle bash, Griffith seemingly clings both to the daughter growing up too fast and to her own past as the HFPA's designated mannequin. Young Dakota, acutely feeling the maternal drag on the spotlight of her petulant Hollywood coming out party, grants her a mere split-second of embrace, then slips away, leaving the proud/jealous woman through whose birth canal she once so happily passed grasping at fingertips.