Mediaite's Rachel Sklar('s boobs): currently in Israel trying to secure Entebbe, or something.

In the wake of David Letterman's staff scoring stiffy, we decided to look back at some of our favorite media ass-magnets. These are extraordinary examples of why straight guys get in this business in the first place: the crazy poon, bro.

Nothing like a good dick joke, right? So says the hetero, who keeps going on about the Lady Gaga Penis Business. But Dan Abrams' henchwoman and Fearless Leader of Mediaite, Rachel Sklar, can't stop it with the vagina talk. Proof?

Courtney Love shopping downtown ... Mischa Barton talking on her phone while eating lunch outside with a friend ... Paul McCartney waving to photographers in East Hampton ... Dave Zinczenko, Dan Abrams, and Julia Allison having dinner at Copa in Bridgehampton ... Julia Roberts leaving her trailer on the set of Eat, Pray, Love ... Sophia Bush going inside Pop Yogurt on West Broadway and Spring Street ... Drew Barrymore shooting scenes for Going the Distance ... Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian leaving the Howard Stern Show in Midtown ... and Beyoncé and Jay-Z having an early dinner at Bar Pitti on Saturday.

Satan made George W. Bush invade Iraq; Barack Obama made White Sox hats cool and Kirstie Alley was thoroughly entertained by the National Enquirer. There are no such things as strange bedfellows, to the Twitterati.

Salon columnist Glenn Greenwald posted a scathing column about the armistice between GE and News Corp meant to end Bill O'Reilly and Keith Olbermann's fueding. It's a chilling read, and brings in a tangentially related player: Richard Wolffe.

Haha, unshaven website-launching PR man Dan Abrams went on his old network, MSNBC, today, and some lady tried to "lecture" him about the media! Hey lady, shut up!

Roundups of Cronkite-death reactions are bound to include the President's personal memories, and Dan Abrams trashing personal memories. Also, Shaq's sword, Clooney's sad, Jeff Jarvis is so over this, Sarah Palin's rainbows, and Kelly Bundy has something to say.

A tech marketer saved his nephew; a tech writer was rescued by an ambulance. The Twitterati saw the whole thing.

At around 1:30am Eastern time, Dan Abrams' Mediaite, his "Huffington Post meets Gawker" website, went live. We've been trying to take a look at it, but it keeps going down. Ah, growing pains!

Jeff Jarvis tweets: "WaPo access program sounds like a Dan Abrams production."

Former Huffington Post media reporter and Dan Abrams' henchwoman Rachel Sklar is pissed at her friend, blogger-journalist Jeff Jarvis. Jarvis posted a now-infamous email of hers to his blog and absolutely lit her up in the process. Sklar fired back.

Dan Abrams is soon launching Mediaite, his very own "Drudge meets Huffington Post," which he'll certainly use to promote clients of his endlessly shady PR firm. He's now looking for contributors who, like him, have no qualms about selling out.

An addition to the Celebrity Media Intern Class of '09: Arielle Zuckerberg, the kid sister of Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg. She's indentured herself to Dan Abrams-affiliated media blog Mediaite.com. It hasn't launched yet, but we have an exclusive preview!

Not entirely sure what to make of this: The Daily Beast just posted video of Rachel Sklar and David Carr (henceforth known as SklarCarr) talking. It's weird. Especially when Carr notes that the New York Times doesn't need saving.

For all the media fetishists in the house: Sharon Waxman wrote an excruciatingly facepalm-worthy report about what eating breakfast at NYC media-commissary Balthazar is like. Please go back to LA, and don't take my soft-boiled eggs with you. [HuffPo]

In your shiny Monday media column: Spy magazine lives, David Carr survives, Dan Abrams hires, Dana Milbank thrives, and Fleur Cowles dies:

Governor David Paterson turns 55 today. Cher is 63. Newsweek editor Jon Meacham is turning 40. NBC chief legal correspondent Dan Abrams is turning 43. Busta Rhymes is 37. The Food Network's Ted Allen is 44. Interior designer Stephen Sills turns 58. Joe Cocker is 65. Ron Reagan, the son of Ronald and Nancy Reagan, is 51. Former Yankee David Wells turns 46. And Cindy McCain is turning 55 today.

In your foggy Monday media column: Reporters in peril. Institutions crumbling. David Denby and Dan Abrams to the rescue!

• The 2009 Pulitzer Prize winners were announced today. [Pulitzer.org]
• It's been six years since the release of The Da Vinci Code, but Knopf says Dan Brown's latest, The Lost Symbol, will hit stores in September. [AP]
• Hollywood agencies Endeavor and William Morris appear to have cemented a merger, although an official announcement is still forthcoming. [THR]
• With the radio business struggling, some commercial stations are now following the lead of public radio and asking for donations. [WSJ]
• 17 Again was No. 1 at the box office with a gross of $24.1 million. [THR]
• Fran Drescher says she's in talks to host a cable TV talk show. The program would cover politics, culture, and health issues, and she claims she's in discussions with MSNBC, PBS, and Oprah Winfrey's OWN. God help us. [USN]