Entertainment mogul David Geffen has a fascinating interior life. As an old billionaire, he has constantly afforded himself the best young, muscular ass money can buy, and that has tended to get him wrapped up in the juiciest of tabloid dramas. For instance, in 2014 he had to file a restraining order against his 20-year-old football-playing ex-boyfriend, and last year a porn star testified that he would “fear for his safety” if he revealed to the FBI that Geffen had paid for some dental work.

Billionaire Hollywood mogul David Geffen, whose ability to use charity donations to embody the principle of selfishness is truly astounding, made—spoiler alert!!!—another gaudy, wasteful, self-aggrandizing charity donation today.

Billionaire Hollywood mogul David Geffen announced another large philanthropic gift this week—one that could fully cement him as the most narcissistic and least useful philanthropist in America.

On Thursday, gay porn actor Teofil Brank was found guilty of six federal charges stemming from a $1.5 million extortion scheme against business tycoon Donald Burns, the Associated Press reports.

A secretive world of group sex and lavish gifts between porn stars and wealthy businessmen is unravelling in federal court—and people are getting nervous. One witness, porn star Justin Griggs, told the FBI that revealing the details of his relationship with “very powerful” David Geffen made him “fear for his safety.”

Billionaire David Geffen is going to have to find some other pretty young thing to take to state dinners and on all-boy vacations with Barry Diller and other barely closeted rich people. According to Page Six Geffen just broke up with his boy toy.

A California judge ruled yesterday that preventing gays from getting married is unconstitutional. But nothing in Cali matters until a celebrity does it! Here are the brides-and-brides and grooms-and-grooms we'd like to see exercising their new right to wed.

Weir explains his creative process. Jessica Simpson cries on Oprah's couch. John Mayer can't get a date. Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson grope each other in public. Johnny Depp fears mirrors. Tuesday gossip is the window to celebrity souls.

The "You're So Vain" guessing has finally ended, much to the chagrin of narcissistic old musician dudes like James Taylor who thought it was about them. And it's... David Geffen?! WTF? (Update: Maybe not!) [The Sun] [Pic: Getty]

Soulful crooner David Geffen to be inducted into the Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame.

• Last night's state dinner drew quite a crowd. On hand of the occasion: Katie Couric (accompanied by beau Brooks Perlin), Gayle King (sans Oprah), Brian Williams, Mayor Bloomberg (with Diana Taylor), Ari Emanuel, M. Night Shyamalan, Steven Spielberg, Jeffrey Katzenberg, and David Geffen (accompanied by his youthful boyfriend). Jennifer Hudson provided the entertainment; Naeem Khan was responsible for Michelle Obama's gold dress. [Politico, Reuters, NYP]
• She may not be in rehab (yet), but Lindsay Lohan is supposedly now in counseling and seeing someone a few times a week. It's a start, isn't it? [MSNBC]
• In what may be the most dubious story ever published by Us, a source tells the tabloid that Angelina Jolie "hates" President Obama because he's "all about welfare and handouts" and is really "a socialist in disguise." Naturally, the source goes on to say that Brad Pitt is still a fan of Obama, which means the two "get in nasty arguments" about politics "all the time." [Us]

It's well known that movie mogul David Geffen is Obama's Gay Friend. This was reinforced by tonight's state dinner, where Geffen sat at Obama's table. Oh, and Geffen's plus one was there, too: His hunky, 26-year-old boyfriend.

The White House is set to announce the guest list for its first state dinner, and among the few invitees from Hollywood are Messieurs Spielberg, Katzenberg and Geffen, sealing the DreamWorks trio's rep as any Democratic President's BFFs in Hollywood.

Oh man, the Pope totally sold out—he just signed a record deal with David Geffen the gay Malibu beach-hoarding billionaire. We bet some sleazy A&R guy promised to make him rich. Don't listen to 'em, Ratzi!

Arianna Huffington's 59th birthday has been nothing if not dramatic. The internet publisher returned to her birthplace of Athens, Greece before ending up in Dubrovnik, Croatia, possibly via David Geffen's boat. Then, Huffington did whatever Twitter told her to.

How has Arianna Huffington been spending her 59th birthday? She started the day in Greece before making her way to Croatia, reportedly aboard the Rising Sun, the 454-foot, $250 million yacht that is co-owned by billionaires David Geffen and Larry Ellison. [Gawker]

• Rumor has it Richard Branson may be interested in buying Playboy. [ChiTrib]
• Two Boston Globe unions have agreed to concessions with the NYT Co. [E&P]
• Why did the Times pick Mexican billionaire Carlos Slim to invest in the paper instead of David Geffen? It seems publisher Arthur Sulzberger Jr. was "worried about Geffen's ambition to take over the company." [AllThingsD]
• Mayor Bloomberg plans to introduce legislation in Albany to extend the city's popular—but broke—film/TV tax credit program. [THR]
• Tom McGeveran has been named interim editor of the New York Observer. He'll take over for Peter Kaplan, whose last day will be this Friday. [NYO]

Reports surfaced recently that media mogul David Geffen had expressed an interest in buying a piece of the New York Times. As the story goes, Geffen had offered to buy Harbinger Capital Partners' 20 percent stake in the paper; but Harbinger, the hedge fund operated by Phil Falcone, had rejected the overture because it had been hoping for a higher price. Much was made of Geffen's attempt to snag a piece of the esteemed paper, what his true intentions were, and whether the DreamWorks co-founder had been hoping to shape the paper's coverage of Washington and Hollywood. It doesn't matter much now, since the deal doesn't appear to be moving ahead. In the meantime, though, let's all be thankful that Falcone's wife, Lisa, hasn't been making any efforts to influence the Times's fashion coverage. Click on the photo above to see Lisa at the NYCB spring gala the other night in all her glittery glory.

• Monthly mags continue to suffer: Ad pages have dropped by 23 percent on average, although the situation is particularly dire at Condé Nast. [NYP]
• Maureen Dowd landed in a bit of hot water after it was revealed she'd "borrowed" from blogger Josh Marshall for her op-ed column yesterday. She's since offered a (dubious) explanation and apology. [E&P, HP, Politico]
• Television networks start selling ads for the fall season today as part of upfront week, although the economy is putting a damper on things. [NYT]
• Despite few successes and many failures, NBC golden boy Ben Silverman still has a job. For how much longer, though, is anybody's guess. [NYT]
• Angels & Demons was No. 1 at the box office with a $48 million haul. [WSJ]
• If you can't find Newsweek on newsstands, that may be because the magazine has totally redesigned itself. [Newsweek, WaPo, HuffPo]

• The New York Times is now thinking of charging consumers for access to its web site, although doing so would be "tricky," says Bill Keller. Indeed. [NYT]
• There are some signs of further trouble at Forbes. [NYP]
• Martha Stewart is going to see if she can charge for online videos. [WWD]
• Advertisers are looking to channel recession-related outrage. [NYT]
• NBC has renewed Last Call with Carson Daly. Unfortunately. [THR]
• Did David Geffen really consider taking a stake in the Times? [NYP]
• Jay Leno's last guest on The Tonight Show: Conan O'Brien. [NYDN]
• Suze Orman is having her "moment," in case you weren't aware. [NYT]
• Is the Jon & Kate drama good news or bad news for TLC? [TDB]
• Brian Williams is still a Jersey boy, or so it would seem. [The Awl]