• France's first lady, Carla Bruni, will star in Woody Allen's next movie. [AFP]
• Time Inc. is shutting down InStyle Weddings and laying off nine people in the process. The company also let 15 staffers go at Fortune today. [Gawker, NYP]
• Adam Lambert's racy performance at the AMAs has stirred up some drama, in case you haven't heard; ABC says it's been flooded with complaints. [NYT]
• In related news, Lambert will not be appearing on GMA due to the fallout, but he will be on the Early Show and the Late Show with David Letterman. [HL]
• The Washington Post is closing its NYC, LA, Chicago bureaus. [WaPo]
• Time Inc., Condé Nast and Hearst are setting up a company to "allow them to take the digital future into their own hands." Better late than never! [NYO]
• Sarah Palin's Going Rogue sold 700,000 copies in its first week, sadly. [AP]

Here is big fancy comedian David Letterman last night, mocking the relaxed on-the-scene reporting style of beloved NY1 animal-handling journalist Roger Clark. Mr. Letterman, that man you so heartlessly deride is an excellent bowler.

• Did David Letterman's wife boot him out of the house because he "balked at telling her the complete truth about the female staffers he bedded"? That's what the National Enquirer has been claiming, although his spokesman says it isn't true. So maybe he's just still sleeping on the couch. [NYDN]
• Amy Winehouse is back in the hospital for the 143rd time. It was due to an "adverse reaction" she had to cold medicine. Naturally. [Mirror]
• A brawl at a club in Queens over the weekend led cops to shoot a man who once worked as a bodyguard for Jay-Z, Mariah Carey and Diddy. [NYP]
• Paris Hilton is "declaring war" on the Kardashian sisters because they're more famous than she is these days and they're earning more money, too. Paris has "hatched a plan" to return to her former perch as tabloid queen, however. It entails launching a new hair and beauty line and playing up her "more stable relationship with Doug Reinhardt." [P6]

This whole alleged David Letterman "extortion" plot? All a big misunderstanding.

Bill Murray could be just like any other guest. Go on Letterman, crack a few jokes, promote his movie and call it a day. Bill Murray is not just any other guest.

• A judge has granted a temporary restraining order barring Jennifer Lopez's ex, Ojani Noa, from distributing a sex tape starring his former wife/benefactor. The order is only in effect for a day and another hearing is scheduled for today, so J. Lo's sex-filled 1997 honeymoon may still see the light of day yet. [TMZ, Reuters]
• Malaysian party boy (and clubland savior) Jho Low celebrated his 28th birthday last week at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas with "bikini-clad party girls and surrounded by caged lions and tigers." Later, he partied with Paris Hilton, Usher, and Jamie Foxx, who reportedly "gifted the birthday boy" with a red sports car for some reason. Apparently, Low is often mistaken for photographer Chance Yeh, so make sure you don't get these two mixed up. A tip: Low is one buying 120 bottles of Cristal. [P6]
• Robert "Joe" Halderman, the guy accused of trying to extort David Letterman, appears in court today and his lawyer is expected to ask the judge to dismiss some of the charges against him. How long he'll be able to afford a lawyer is unclear. He's raised $100,000 for his legal defense fund, but he was also suspended without pay by CBS recently, too. [NYP, MSNBC]
• Madonna wants to clear a few things up: Yes, she's going to Brazil, but no, it's not to meet Jesus Luz's mom. She's going "strictly for fundraising and humanitarian purposes," thank you very much. [P6]

Somewhere out there in Hollywood, there are a few dozen people who made bets that "scandal was never the way to win over audiences" kicking themselves, hard.

• Nell Scovell, a writer on Dave Letterman's show in the late '80s, has stepped forward to detail the show's "hostile, sexually charged atmosphere." [VF]
• Layoffs: Yesterday's cuts at Forbes claimed 30-40 people; reality TV-focused Teen Vogue laid off half a dozen staffers today; the cuts continue this week at W; and a big round of cuts could go down at Time Inc. sometime next week.
• Sarah Palin's memoir, which comes out next month, had already earned her $1.25 million even before she stepped down as Alaska's governor. [AP]
• Michael Jackson's This Is It debuts in theaters tonight. [NYDN]
• How's Jay Leno's new show doing more than a month in? Not so good. [NYT]

Just as America settled into a laissez faire consensus on office sex, some new confessions out of Fort Letterman have appeared to remind us of why we're all against the bosses-sleeping-with-their-employees thing in the first place.

• Jessica Simpson and Gerard Butler went to Soho House on a date on Tuesday night. Then again, the duo had to be "chaperoned" by friends including Simpson's BFF/hair stylist Ken Paves, which hardly sounds very romantic, does it? [P6]
• It may be over for the most famous lesbian couple in America, Rosie O'Donnell and Kelli Carpenter. Rosie acknowledges the two are having "issues" and says they're trying to work things out. But Carpenter may have already moved out of the home they share in Nyack, which probably isn't a good sign. [People]
• Jill Zarin has no manners. When the "Real Housewife" appeared at the opening of "Memphis" on Broadway the other night, she arrived 30 minutes late and with an entourage in tow and disrupted audience members when they moved into their seats. Then she blabbed for 15 minutes during the show. [P6]

Martha tries to spruce up Jay's ratings, Ed Norton joins Jimmy Kimmell, while most other hosts take the week off. What a bunch of deadbeats! We've got your rundown of what to watch tonight.

• Is New York magazine up for sale now that Bruce Wasserstein has died? There's no reason to assume so, but that isn't stopping people from tossing around the names of some very unlikely "contenders." [NYP, AdAge, DF]
• Related: David Carr of the Times details how Wasserstein benefited the magazine; Daniel Gross of Slate focuses on his commitment to journalism; and New York's editors offer up their own heartfelt tribute to the mag's late owner.
• The cuts at Condé continue: Golf World felt the pain today. [Gawker]
• SNL has cut a deal with Anheuser-Busch to stick beer ads into the show. "Maybe if we drink enough the show will actually seem funny." [LAT]

A Connecticut judge has unsealed the applications for search warrants for Joe Halderman, who is accused of attempting to extort David Letterman out of $2 million. Read the warrant for Halderman's house here, and for his car here.

The application for a search warrant for accused Letterman extortionist Joe Halderman's car.

The application for a search warrant for accused Letterman extortionist Joe Halderman's house.

• The Condé Nast job cuts have made their way to Anna's domain on the 12th floor of 4 Times Square: Vogue laid off six staffers today. [AllThingsD]
• More bad news for Condé: some advertisers are reportedly "jumping ship" after the recent shake-up at Brides. On the plus side, The New Yorker appears to be hiring, so you can take that as good news if you'd like. [NYP, NYO]
• Remember how the New York Times Co. was planning to sell the Boston Globe? Yea, well, NYT publisher Artie Sulz has changed his mind. [AP, BG]
• Mike Bloomberg totally approves of Bloomberg LP's decision to buy BusinessWeek. Translation: The mayor backs the decisions he, himself, makes even if he contends that he wasn't actually responsible for making them. [NYT]
• Is Bloomberg LP's acquisition of BusinessWeek part of a big, new plan to compete with the Wall Street Journal and Dow Jones? Sure seems like it. [NYT]
• Meanwhile, WSJ staffers gathered today to toast the news that the Journal has surpassed USA Today as the top-selling paper in the U.S. [Politico, E&P]
• CBS News is now "investigating" the David Letterman saga (and his employer CBS!) as part of a future story. That must be a bit awkward, huh? [NYO]

Where was CBS on that whole David Letterman affair scandal, hmmm?? Oh yea: They were airing hours upon hours Letterman's own explanations of it. Which were masterful. Now, CBS News wants to get to the bottom of it. Meh. Don't.

• Heidi Klum and Seal have a new addition to the family: Lou Sulola, who was born on Friday night and joins siblings Johan, Henry, and Leni. [People]
• Tyra Banks ought to be in a good mood today. Not only has she dropped four dress sizes recently, she's been named the "top-earning primetime TV star" by Forbes thanks to the $30 million she's collected over the past year. [Daily Mail, MSNBC]
• The latest legal tiff between Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook is over: The couple has settled their dispute, which means neither of them will be heading off to jail. [People]
• Was Penelope Cruz sporting a giant sapphire and diamond ring the other night because she really is engaged to Javier Bardem? And did she wear a bulky sweater over her dress because she's pregnant? So many questions, so few answers. Sigh. [P6, NYDN]

David Letterman has crossed the threshold from tabloid guest star to full time villain. Well, if Quinnipiac University's to be believed.

The night before Joe Halderman was busted in a sting operation for trying to extort David Letterman out of $2 million, the Late Show aired a parody of a Geico ad that seems, in retrospect, rather prescient.