The St. Petersburg Times - who we last heard from when publishing a report on scary Scientology leader David Miscavige - are at it again. They're moving forward with more reporting on accounts from Scientology defectors, basically waging war.

Maybe people who have a lot of money and want to give it away? Little children who are looking for things in dark, scary tunnels? It's hard to tell.

The St. Petersburg Times is running a massive report on Scientology, focusing on leader David Miscavige and high-ranking defectors spilling on him. Revealed: Miscavige's sadistic temper. Like when he made staffers play 'violent' musical chairs, scored to Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody."

Your favorite former prostitute from New Jersey will be breaking out the bubbly this evening. Ms. Ashley Alexandra Dupre is 24 today. Kirsten Dunst's celebrating, too. She's 27. Columbia University president Lee Bollinger is turning 63. Socialite Allison Sarofim is 41. Former Knicks coach Isiah Thomas is turning 48. Former Bronx Borough President Fernando Ferrer is 59. Socialite Cynthia Lufkin turns 47. Cloris Leachman is 83. Rapper Lloyd Banks is 27. Willie Nelson is turning 76. And David Miscavige, the head of Scientology and the only man who can give Tom Cruise orders, turns 49 today.

Andrew Morton wrote in his best-selling biography of Tom Cruise that the Hollywood star was prominent in the hierarchy of the Church of Scientology. Of all of the author's claims, it was the one that most enraged the sect: "Insinuations that Mr. Cruise is second-in-command of the Church are not only false, they are ludicrous," the Scientologists maintained. "He is neither 2nd or 100th. Mr. Cruise is a Scientology parishioner and holds no official or unofficial position in the Church hierarchy. Claims to the contrary are offensive to both Mr. Cruise and the Church." But if Cruise was merely a humble parishioner, why in Xenu's name did the sect spend six figures to celebrate his birthday in 2004? In a video obtained by Gawker, watch Scientology chief David Miscavige lead the sect's most famous follower into an extravagant celebration of the Hollywood star on Scientology cruise ship, Freewinds. Cruise's entrance is, of course, to the theme music from Top Gun, one of the movies for which the actor is best known, or was, until he took up his new role as evangelist for the bizarre Church. After the movie clips are played, and the bands perform, Cruise exclaims: "This is incredible... It's the best birthday ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, and I mean ever!" We agree! The best moment: watch Cruise in a duet of Old Time Rock and Roll, demonstrating the dance moves we first saw in Risky Business, the picture that made his name. He was so young then; and we, thankfully, knew so much less about him. VIDEO»

The Church of Scientology is a famously vindictive institution, prepared to use litigation and harassment to suppress critics. And nobody gets kid-glove treatment, not even relatives of the sect's high priest, David Miscavige. His niece, Jenna Hill, claims she's been subjected to harassment since speaking out in support of Andrew Morton's critical biography of Tom Cruise, the Hollywood star and fervent Scientologist. The dreadful price: "At least eight friends have removed themselves from my MySpace page."