In your pleasant Thursday media column: Sarah Palin produces a string of English-language words that ostensibly describe Glenn Beck, a NYT reporter is hazy on sourcing rules, Barack Obama smooches the press, and management moves at Forbes.

The White House press corps has some complaints about how they're treated (I know, crazy!). On the one hand, sure, power to the press. On the other hand, everyone sounds like children jealous of the New York Times.

Machine-like purveyor of conventional media wisdom Howard Kurtz takes on the DC press corps' most important question today: Hey, is Politico's Mike Allen really Washington's Most Important Journalist? Or might that Most Important Journalist be [my name]?

[Michelle Obama ambled down her block to the Smithsonian today to donate her inaugural gown by Jason Wu to the museum's collection where it will not be upstaged by Aretha Franklin's hat. Image via Getty

Need vacation ideas? Take the kids to DC. See the monuments, the Smithsonian, and then Ted Bundy's serial killer VW Beetle of Doom in which multiple women's lifeless bodies were transported to their grisly fate. Then Ben's Chili Bowl. [WP]

[At least Snowpocalypse '10 taught us one thing: which D.C. newspaper is worth a few minutes of shoveling snow. Image via Why I Hate D.C.]

This is a transcript from a hearing of the Senate Pizza Responsibility Committee for an inquest into the wasting of two whole pies at a residence at 2000 S St, NW in Washington, D.C. The honorable Senator Joeseph Lieberman presiding.

The 111th Congress of the United States of America outlines these proposed rules concerning the sleeping arrangements and sexual encounters of seven strangers picked to live in a house at 2000 S St., NW in Washington D.C. It is decreed:

And now: "The power is out at Reagan National Airport outside Washington, D.C., bringing flights and security screening to a standstill." They'll get it fixed just as soon as they find the problem, so you folks just sit tight. [AP]

Every city gets the Real World it deserves. The show finally settles in the nation's capital and like its host city, everything is especially earnest. But it's the eight strangers who really show us what this town is like.

[There's nothing to hide the flaws in an extreme closeup of senator John McCain taken during an address to the Heritage Foundation in Washington. Image via Getty]

In your tricky Tuesday media column: Ski Resorts are the Stasi of Colorado journalism, the White House press corps exercises its shit-eating grin, The New Yorker cuts its fiction, and a dead magazine overview.

[President Barack Obama gets some help from his first ladies, Sasha, Malia, and Michelle, when lighting the national Christmas tree in D.C. today. Image via AP]

Sweeps week is coming up, so hey, a TV station in DC just had an idea: Breassstsss! Nekkid breasts on your television screen being beamed straight into your home, uncovered and uncensored! Because of news.

Washington DC is worried that its losing sports teams will make the city the butt of jokes. Hey, don't forget about your poor schools, violent crime, young racist tools, and fat Republicans everywhere, either. It's a whole package. [WP]

Washington, DC PR man David Bass has a perfectly good explanation for why he was charged with a felony for disrupting a flight: He was all hopped up on Benadryl! He was awake traveling for five three days! He wanted wine!

In your world-beating Wednesday media column: Vibe's former editor moves up(?) in the world, people amazingly still want to buy the Sun-Times and BusinessWeek, the college newspaper marches on towards death, and media elites marry.

Howard fucking Fineman is one of DC's "Top 50 Party Animals" according to Politico, a stupid publication I hate so much. You know who does not "party" much, in DC, apparently? Black people. Politico, you bammas. [via The Awl]

Fancy Georgetown University is being stalked by a sex criminal (nicknamed the "Georgetown Cuddler," cute) who breaks into women's bedrooms and assaults them as they sleep. Police have not been able to track down a suspect of this description: