Good news for fetuses: the rate of U.S. abortions have hit a new low under President Obama. Not since the legalization of abortion during the Nixon Administration in 1973 has the abortion rate been so low, at just 16.9 abortions per 1,000 pregnancies.

We know what's wrong with Veteran's Day. We know this country is crawling with jobless, homeless veterans of America's constant occupations and invasions. We know there aren't enough jobs for these people already burdened with so much, and no labor market demand for the "skill set" of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and existential dread. And yet they went out there and committed whatever insanity they were commanded to commit, in the name of America, even if it never mattered to 99% of Americans one way or the other. Instead of the usual Veteran's Day garbage of saying "uhh ... sorry" to those who suffered for empire, how about giving the veterans the only thing that can hold them together: a mission.

If you're wondering just how far the nearly insolvent ex-mogul Harvey Weinstein has fallen, here's a handy metric: He can't even stop a Canadian filmmaker from making an unauthorized documentary about what a gargantuan dick he is. A Canadian!

Rupert Murdoch—the dashing, daring, fearsome and fearless press baron, the mogul among moguls—will celebrate his 79th birthday next month. As he approaches his final years at the helm of his empire, he finds it crumbling around him.