Megan Fox's bracing candor in the new issue of GQ continued to captivate readers today, with her stripper-wooing antics and confession that "Olivia Wilde is so sexy she makes me want to strangle a mountain ox with my bare hands" stirring both deep resentments and arousal among animal-loving lesbian fetishists around the world. The sexless Defamer investigative crew, meanwhile, had more specific interests in mind: Olivia Wilde is lovely enough, but who exactly is "Nikita," the Body Shop stripper Fox claimed to have had a brief, intense fling after relocating to LA a few years ago at age 18? It's funny — when we called The Body Shop this afternoon, a veteran employee there wondered the same thing!Told about the Fox story and asked if he knew a Nikita, the man who answered the phone replied in brusque, Slavic-accented tones. "No," he said."No Nikita." This would have been back around 2004, maybe 2005. We know it was a long time ago, but — "No, we haven't had Nikita. But lots of girls come and go." He said he'd been there 13 years, but responded with silence when asked his name and position. "Everybody's coming and going. They work one day, two days, one week. It's like this." But no Nikita? "No." Click. We were worried about this, particularly after Fox doth protested too much to her interviewer about her high-octane acknowledgment projecting "a Lindsay Lohan vibe" and asking, "Are you going to push an ‘Is she a lesbian' angle?" Well, kind of, though we'd technically need another girl before buying into all the Aerosmith ballad-dancing and Fox's lovelorn urgings to Nikita to leave the lifestyle. Still — we want to believe! If "yes Nikita," there surely must be some Body Shop regular or former patron who can put a name to the date or — better yet — a face to the name. Operators are standing by! [Photo Credit: GQ]

Once upon a time, we thought that the babydaddy mystery surrounding Kelly Taylor's love child on the new 90210 would be the "Who killed Laura Palmer?" of the CW set, with Jennie Garth given mysterious, clue-laden bon mots to drop all season, then a hasty denouement revealing Kelly's torrid night of cappuccinos with Nat at the Peach Pit five years ago. Then, producers threw us for a loop, stating that Shannen Doherty would reveal the big secret as early as tomorrow night's episode when Brenda confronts Kelly about dating the hot hipster teacher at West Bev. Now, in the wake of that hint, a tipster has informed us that a Canadian ad for the big episode may unwittingly supply the father's identity. Spoilers, after the jump...According to tipster "Lezzy McGuire":

Despite being paced a bit too frenetically for our liking, last week's two-hour debut of the 90210 reboot managed to intrigue us enough to tune in for last night's episode (although it appears that 25% of those first week viewers didn't feel the same way). And while the new brood of West Beverly High School students still can't stop smiling, we couldn't help but find ourselves smiling a little bit during the episode's (admittedly shoehorned-in) plotlines revolving around Kelly Taylor. Suckers for nostalgia, rejoice! Last night, we finally got some details about her mystery four year old son, the product of a one night splash-off with someone who she "had a lot of history together [with] in high school" (but has since left her high and dry). Join us as we investigate the eight likeliest candidates for being the dude whose little swimmers got all up in Kelly Taylor's biznass.

Our item yesterday about the rumored C-word contretemps between CAA agent Dan Aloni and Fox Atomic exec Debbie Liebling — which we heard led to a unilateral CAA ban from the Fox lot — drew quite a bit of interest from all involved. Make that "everyone but CAA," rather, which had Nikki Finke do its dirty work for them. Variety even accused us of "an exceptional Internet smear campaign" — before pulling its story down minutes later. But we'll get to that in a moment. First things first: After the jump, a studio "denial"!

It was a busy holiday weekend inside Defamer's Special Investigations Bureau for Starlet Genetics, where a bombshell tip revealed the long-suspected truth about the young actress's sketchy provenance. No — not half-Jewish / half-Protestant, and not Upper East Side post-deb. In short, as her close friend "Sergei Galabekian" tells us, the Scarlett Johansson you know... is a clone.

The hyper-sensitive Defamer April Fool's Bullshit Scanner went off again moments ago as we browsed ABC.com's exclusive screenplay review of W, Oliver Stone's upcoming biopic about the transition of George W. Bush from spoiled drunk Texas asshole to election-stealing, malaprop-slinging, Jesus-loving Texas asshole. To this very moment, in fact, we can't verify the legitimacy of Marcus Baram's trenchant read-through whose very headline — "Daddy Issues, War Lust in Oliver Stone's W" — flirts with incredulity. To that end, we combed through Baram's script review in an attempt to determine the moments that seem authentic versus those that appear to be inexplicably hacky: