Last night was the premiere of Cloverfield on Paramount's lot, an event they were kind enough to invite us to. Without getting too deeply into the what and the how of it, we'll only say that the movie was the rare release to receive a unanimous thumbs up from Defamer HQ: short, slick, and ferociously sweet.

Having been far too long since we've checked in with our Defamer PartyWatchers, photographer Maggie Serrano (sans trusty cohort Ann) braved the eardrum-blowing decibels of downtown's Hard New Year's Eve Music Festival, where she captured some of our city's most wasted spirited revelers ring in 2008 to the highly danceable grooves of French techno-duo Justice, Canadian electrofilthyclasher Peaches, and 2 Live Crew. Check out our image gallery of the festivities.

Every now and again, new cultural correspondent (his title for at least the duration of this item) Ryan will be dropping by to toss some posts into our blog-mix. Today, he shares the photo-assisted recollections of a Halloween evening in which he learned why you never challenge a guy in an ape costume to a Wild Turkey-drinking contest.

As we struggle to make sense of a world in which one of the most beloved music icons of our era is robbed of her frequently fumbled pride and joy merely because of a two-year, drug and nudity-filled rough patch, we felt we could use some cheering up courtesy of a party report from trusty Defamer PartyWatcher Ann. Accompanied by photographer Maggie Serrano, the two attended Friday's opening soirée for the Just Britney show at the World of Wonder gallery in Hollywood, site of the Golden Girls Erotica Expo. With the fallen pop star the subject of every work on display, it was a unique and exciting happening attended by club kid and club adult alike. Ann's report and an image gallery follow after the jump:

Always on the lookout for an open bar cultural happening, Defamer PartyWatcher Ann trekked to Costa Mesa for a showing of new works by sculptor Peter Harper (brother of Ben) at the Rico Garcia Fine Art gallery. There, she sampled Danny DeVito's Clooney-seducing poison of choice—his own brand of Limoncello—while keeping a sharp lookout for many of the "confirmed celebrities" the press release promised would be in attendance. But even without a single Meg Ryan or Cox-Arquette sighting, there was more than enough free liquor and stimulating art on hand to render the journey a success. Ann's report, and a photo gallery courtesy of photographer Maggie Serrano, follow after the jump.

Having subjected Defamer PartyWatcher Ann to all manner of heresy at events like Derby Dolls and Lucha VaVoom, we thought it time to send her to something a little more wholesome. The Hollywood Purity Ball seemed to fit that bill: It's a touching event brought to you by the same folks as the Hollywood Hell House, where virginal daughters dance the night away with their dates—their fathers—while pledging them their purity, until such time as they get married or die. (Yes, these things actually take place.) After being shut out of the original location at the Bulgarian Cultural Center, the event relocated to a former Acapulco restaurant on La Cienega, where Reverend Bill Maher presided over the proceedings with holy panache. Ann's report, and a full image gallery taken by guest photographer Maggie Serrano, follow after the jump:

Defamer Partywatcher Ann bookended a week of girls and violence that began with a visit to the Derby Dolls match in City of Industry with a stop at Thursday night's Lucha VaVoom, the ongoing Mexican wrestling, burlesque, and variety show at the Mayan. With guest photographer Maggie Serrano in tow, the two managed to avoid flying folding chairs and bloodthirsty drag queens to provide a full report, even managing to catch a glimpse of some rare and elusive drunk hipsters in attendance, practicing their newly learned wrestling skills after the show at the nearby La Cita. The full image gallery and report are after the jump:

We could think of nary a better way to spend a Saturday evening than watching a bevy of our city's most brutal, rollerskate-clad Amazonian warriors battle to the death (well, at least to the debilitating ankle injury) in a makeshift Thunderdome—aka the Industry Hills Expo Center in the City of Industry. We therefore dispatched Defamer Partywatcher Ann and guest photographer Maggie Serrano to the L.A. Derby Dolls Fight Crew vs. Sirens game. They returned, exhausted, exhilarated, and bearing a slew of memorable photographs. Ann's play-by-play and our full image gallery are after the jump:

While disenfranchised leather daddies and various species of indigenous hipster discussed Sunset Junction's overcrowding problem over warm cups of Dos Equis at this weekend's suffocatingly hot street fair, those who couldn't be bothered with the festival huddled at Vice magazine's pool party at The Standard in WeHo on Saturday, where matters of far greater cultural import were debated over free, ice-cold bottles of Colt 45. Defamer videographer Molly McAleer files this brief video dispatch of her pre-Junction foray to the event.

Knowing that no matter how many times we watched Bea Arthur scold those kids on Friday, our renewed lust for all things Golden Girls-related could not possibly be sated by just a single video clip, we dispatched Defamer Partywatcher Ann and photographer Amy Rodrigue to the World of Wonder gallery in Hollywood to the Saturday night opening of "Golden Gals Gone Wild," the "first art exhibition devoted to erotic depictions" of Blanche, Dorothy, Rose, and perhaps most distressingly, Sophia. (Don't fret if you didn't make the launch—the show is running for four weeks, giving you plenty of time to ogle their gilded goodies.) Our photo gallery of the event is here, and a brief report follows after the jump:

Too squeamish to attend the Captivity premiere party that After Dark Films provocateur Courtney Solomon recently promised would be so debauched that it would likely bring about the total collapse of Western Civilization ourselves, we dispatched unshockable Defamer Special Correspondent on Looking Into The Eyes of Evil and Laughing Nick Malis to Privilege last night, hoping that he would emerge from the ritualistic promotional flaying with enough of his sanity intact to file a report on his experience. Luckily for us, he did survive the ordeal, though not without some psychological scarring associated with prolonged exposure to a carefully coordinated attempt to offend his sensibilities. His report follows, along with a link to our photo gallery of the event (which you can skip to by clicking here, if you're the impatient type.)