Despite the fact that just about everyone and their favorite blog have known that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are expecting two Chosen Ones this time around, heroin dabbler-turned-UN Ambassador Jolie had yet to officially confirm the news. And until a Today Show interview taped today in Cannes, featuring Jolie and co-star Jack Black promoting their upcoming animated flick Kung Fu Panda, we’re pretty sure the very pregnant actress would have kept her lips sealed until the day those magical spawns open their cherubic eyes for the first time. But thanks to an impromptu joke made by Black, Jolie was put on the spot, and clever Today host Natalie Morales took full advantage of it...

What do you get when you mix Intrepid Defamer Videographer™ Molly McAleer, her BFF Kendall, Missy Elliott's "Ching-A-Ling" and a whole shitload of American Apparel clothes? You get an extra fierce edition of Defamer's To Do List, that's what!

And now, a very important public service announcement from Defamer: Tomorrow begins the annual Tourette Syndrome Awareness Month, a period of close scrutiny SHIT FIRE ENGINE WOOOOOOOOO HONK!!! of the ravages of and treatments available for this mysterious neurological disorder affecting an APPLE PIE DOGCUNT!!! estimated 200,000 Americans. "Although coverage on the air and in print has led thousands of children and adults to proper diagnosis of the condition, many more are troubled by symptoms which remain undiagnosed," said Judit Ungar, executive director of CHICKEN CHICKEN FUCKTWAT ROHYYYYPNOLLLLL!!!! the Tourette Syndrome Association, in a statement released today. Ungar added that the primary goal of TS Awareness Month is to encourage people to seek HUMPHUMPHUMPHUMP!!!!! medical attention for potential symptoms, which include rapid eye blinking, involuntary jerking or shrugging, or, in about 15 percent of cases, the manifestation of ASSCOCK MICK JAGGER!!!! obscene phrases (coprolalia) or gestures (copropraxia). Spread the word about Tourette Syndrome this month and every month, and visit the Association's Web site for more information on how you can get involved with BABY JESUS VAGINA!!!! finding a cure. [TSA]

When it comes to the art of stealing boyfriends, no one does it better than Lindsay Lohan. As Star reports in their current issue, the blood-sucking barer of flesh successfully seduced her former slim fast buddy Nicole Richie’s fiance this weekend. And her timing is suspiciously awful, considering new mom Richie is said to be sorely missing her party girl past. As a source tells Star:

[Photo Credit: INF Daily]

Hollywood star Edward Norton gleefully shakes hands with San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom at a hearing on green building practices today before the Select Committee on Energy Independence and Global Warming on Capitol Hill. Write your own caption, and the winner becomes the new headline. Yesterday's contest drew no winning entries, so do try harder, won't you? (Photo by AP/Lawrence Jackson)

While the Michael Hirschorn era at Vh1 will likely be best remembered for bringing pop culture talking heads (I Love The..., Best Week Ever), washed-up celebs (Surreal Life) and horny musicians (Flavor Of Love, Rock Of Love) into millions of homes, there is one program from his tenure that was just as critically acclaimed as it was popular. Back in the summer of 2006, a four-part documentary called The Drug Years aired to rave reviews — Variety called it a "fascinating insight into the growth of the counterculture and ... its eventual hangover" — and arguably became the first series in the channel's history that was equally appealing to pop culture enthusiasts and intellectuals. Now, after nearly two years worth of research and production, the same creative team that put The Drug Years together has returned with a brand new four-part doc entitled Sex: The Revolution. Defamer recently sat down with series writer Martin Torgoff and executive producer Brad Abramson to talk about the series that, as Torgoff explains, puts its focus on "how the sexual revolution fed into the dynamic of what became the Culture Wars in the United States."

Snapped at Cannes by Cinematical, it's the only known billboard for Jim Carrey/Ewan McGregor con-on-con gay prison romance I Love You Phillip Morris. At first glance, the tasteful campaign seems to be going for something like an Anderson Cooper Christmas card. A mere ten seconds later, however, the slats on the mechanized sign rotate, revealing a far edgier tableau of a Versace-clad and spray-tanned Carrey offering horsey rides to a bethonged and delighted Rodrigo Santoro.

Hello Magazine is reporting that Tom Cruise was plum out of ideas for what to get recently drifting BFF David Beckham for his birthday. So instead of a fruit basket or a lifetime supply of Tom Cruise Purple, the Hubbard-loving Clear decided to treat both Posh and Becks to a private weekend getaway at one of Cruise’s favorite romantic spots in Napa Valley: his very own home!

In keeping with the spirit of rebellion and resistance being commemorated this year at Cannes, jury chairman Sean Penn wasn't letting any snooty festival bosses or French government assholes tell him what to do. At this morning's opening press conference, Penn lit up a cigarette in conspicuously direct defiance of a new law prohibiting smoking indoors. Several of his fellow jurors followed suit, including Persepolis co-director Marjane Satrapi, who "asked to much laughter if anyone minded if she smoked 'for medical reasons.' " Ever the activist, Penn went on to praise Cannes for its essential work on behalf of wildlife, citing the festival's recently installed panda habitat as a progressive model of animal rights and ecological sensitivity. [Breitbart, Photo Credit: Getty Images]

[Photo Credit: X17]

The CW's upfront presentation—actually a press release from network president Dawn Ostroff, upon which no expense was spared—announced that the flailing bastard network had finally "zeroed in on our target demo" (young women, 18-34), and would therefore spend the rest of their existence slavishly catering to their newly identified audience's whims and needs. Another season of Mr. and Mrs. Jay enacting their high-fashion minstrel show up and down the deck of the USS Nimitz while deployed to the Persian Gulf? You got it. A two-hour special with limited commercial interruption brought to you by Axe Body Spray, entitled, Chace Crawford: Shirtless? Coming right up. Less lucky: Aliens in America, Life is Wild, The Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious, and Beauty and the Geek, who were all dropped faster than an 8th grader wipes her former best friend from her myFaves after finding out she blabbed about her yeast infection to the rest of their backup-dancing class.

It's always cute when newbie stars brush off rumors about their love lives by calling them "silly" and saying "we're just good friends!" Fresh faces like Gossip Girl's blonde bombshell Blake Lively have yet to learn that making public denials like these mean only one thing: the rumors are true. Back in January, Lively said just that regarding tabloid stories linking her to on-screen make-out partner Penn Badgley (he's the hot-but-nerdy one, a la Seth Cohen on The OC). And shockingly (!), pictures released today prove not only that Blake and Penn have been fooling around poolside - in an uncanny rendition of Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer's beachy-keen gallery last week - but that they may actually make it after all.

As if a third-place opening wasn't bad enough for Speed Racer producer Joel Silver, Page Six today added a liberal dose of existential crisis to the mix when it reported Silver may have flopped for Warner Bros. for the last time. "For the past few months, he's been trying to get his deal extended, but the thinking at Warner is maybe just let his contract run out," its source says — but wait! Silver himself told Nikki Finke yesterday that he's sought no such extension! But his contract still isn't being renewed! We're so confused — help us, Joel!

· TNT's upfronts at the Hammerstein Ballroom in New York announce three new original series to premiere in the coming year—Steven Bochco's Raising the Bar, Dean Devlin's Leverage and Truth in Advertising, starring Will & Grace's Eric McCormack and Ed's Tom Cavanagh. Will's totally going to get laid this time, we can feel it! [Variety]
· Michael Moore is prepping a sequel to Fahrenheit 9/11, picking up where the last one left off. This time, he's parting ways with the Weinsteins, and producing with Overture Films and Paramount Vantage—a slap in the face to Harvey, who's locked himself inside his office and has been playing with his Fraggle Rock dolls since the deal was announced. [Variety]
· My Big Fat Greek Wedding writer and star Nia Vardalos will repair with her screen husband John Corbett for anti-romantic comedy I Hate Valentine's Day.This reunion is like Sex and the Movie 2! Minus people caring! [Variety]
· American Idol is your boo: Final-three competition dominates Tuesday ratings. [THR]
· Take some solace in the fact that your Cannes hotel room is costing you $12,000 per night with the knowledge that our weak economy means more potential international sales. Yay. [THR]

An eagle-eyed Defamer operative caught a wonderful if short-lived revision at CAA's Wikipedia page this morning, when, for 30 precious minutes, the agency's storied history of talent relations included colluding with Joe and Ashlee Simpson to rip off her song "My Model":

In the latest attempt by a Hollywood superstar to Oscar grub by radically transforming their physical appearance, former hard-body Colin Farrell is rapidly downsizing for his upcoming part as a war photographer in Triage. And while Farrell could use some credibility in the acting department following his recent string of flops, hacking off all these pounds doesn't look like the healthiest way to do it. But admittedly, dieting your way towards industry approval has been a Hollywood go-to trick for quite a while. We took a look back at some of his peers' most drastic weight losses, and as scary as the morphing process made them look, each part did bolster their respective careers dramatically:

On last night's anything-goes American Idol semi-finale, the remaining contestants—living headshot Syesha Mercado, crowd-pleasing cheese-rocker David Cook, and 400 lb.-black-woman-in-the-body-of-a-Mormon-twink David Archuleta—were to sing three songs: one selected by a judge, one by a star-chamber of Idol producers, and one of their own choosing. Big-hearted, coordination-challenged youngster Archuleta—the Tiny Tim of this year's proceedings—God-blessed-us every one before tossing aside his crutch (that would be his overbearing, rehearsal-banned father) and launching into Chris Brown's "With You."

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

It took them long enough, but People has finally seized the magical capabilities of the world wide web and uploaded each and every cover in its almost 45-year history online. And while we hand-picked a few of our favorites, from a very Dirk Diggler-looking John Travolta in 1983 to the sad black and white sight of Jennifer Aniston’s misty eyes looking up as Brad Pitt placed the wedding ring on her finger in 2000, we also featured a few after the jump that are slightly more disturbing. "Judge Judy Disrobed," and Brooke Shields doing her whole kiddie porn thing back in the 70s, for example. Plus, a very special throwback to a time when the world wondered whether Britney was looking “too sexy too soon” ... way back in 2000!