Last night during the greatest sociological experiment of our time, we had to deal with the most threatening psychological illness of our time: anxiety. Yes, Vinny, of the carefree manner and enormous schlong, was dealing with a crippling case of ennui.

This QB has been shacking up with a Twilight star even though his wife is pregnant. This recently-divorced star is keeping her new boyfriend secret, and this celeb is helping a dancer with body image issues. That's downright noble.

This couple is on a break because the wife suffered depression after the birth of their child. She's getting help though! This actor shares a bed with his mother and this celeb tried to hook up with one of his former high school teachers. Wait until you hear why she turned him down.

Tonight, after a long day of work and a glass of pinot (or three) you might think to yourself, "Gee, maybe I should watch the People's Choice Awards on CBS." That would be a very stupid idea.

This starlet says she hates this director, but they're secretly getting it on. There's a sex tape of this actress, her boyfriend, and a group of his friends. This child star is back on smack, and this celeb hates her life. Do you think she's just saying that and secretly fucking her life?

It has been scientifically established that ABC's men-dressing-as-women-to-get-jobs sitcom Work It is the worst television program in history. Still ABC Entertainment chief Paul Lee doesn't understand why it's so bad or why some people—gay and transgender activists, specifically—find it offensive.

A long time ago, in a kingdom far far away, there lived a pretty princess named Kim. Princess Kim was the most beautiful rich and famous girl in the whole Magic Kindgom. But one day, a living mouse took away everything she had and left her completely ruined. Come, children. Listen to the sad, sad story of Princess Kim.

This Grammy-winner fell asleep at a fancy reception because she was so messed up. This TV show is forcing one of its kiddie stars to stay husky, this Real Housewife loves engagement rings, and this famous couple thinks the public adores them. Seriously? Are they on drugs?

You might have seen your friends posting about it on Facebook and Twitter, read about it in Entertainment Weekly, or even read the scathing things we had to say about, but absolutely everyone is talking about Downton Abbey. For all the uninitiated here is what you need to know about the British import.

All the paparazzi pictures show this actor getting comfy with his new famous girlfriend, but what you don't see is his boyfriend waiting back at the hotel. Also, some intel on a very famous newborn. No fakes there!

The mysterious actress suing IMDb for revealing her "real age" and "real Asian name" has been revealed: Huong Hoang, stage name Junie Hoang, is a 40-year-old Vietnam-born Texan who says IMDb's ruthless privacy invasion has jeopardized her career as "Ghetto Girl Three" in Hoodrats 2: Hoodrat Warriors and "Sandy" in Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver.

The return of Jersey Shore, the most important sociological experiment of our time reminds us of a number of platitudes: You can never go home again, there are no second acts in American life, the rich are different, you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you can't pick your friend's nose. Oh, what a sad homecoming it was.

These two started a fake feud to get publicity and now don't want it to stop. This actress is pissed her famous boyfriend left her for another woman, and this singer and actress have been having a long-distance affair. And the return of our original blind item about the slutty fitness buff.

This guy from The Hills is now kept by a very rich gay. These sisters are fighting over a fashion line, this actor can't stop having threeways and this actress got so drunk she had group sex. You know, some people can be talked into doing that sober!

There may be another Bridesmaids movie that has nothing to do with Kirstin Wiig. This is like Laverne and Shirley when there was no Shirley! Where can I send my anger? What is the address to send shit stained wedding dresses in protest? It seems Universal is the culprit.

We saw it coming a long way off, even before it pissed off gay activists, but Work It, ABC's new men-dressing-as-women-to-get-jobs sitcom, is by far the worst thing on television. Yeah, its' mildly offensive, but even worse than that, it is just plain awful.

This A-lister is using this bisexual up-and-comer as his latest beard. This rapper insisted he be Photoshopped to looking younger, this actor is back on the sauce, this former sitcom star is a reclusive germophobe, and this former sitcom star is sleeping with her fans. Wow, former sitcom stars sounds really, um, interesting.

Notorious class sleeper, D student, failed Oscar host, art enthusiast, multiple PhD candidate, and sometimes actor James Franco is going to ruin literature once again. He sold a novel! To Amazon! About actors! My eyes are getting a workout from all this rolling.

Check out this French trailer for the new thriller Upside Down. I don't quite get how this high concept works. Apparently there is a world with two sets of gravity and those who are right side up can't fall in love with those upside down. Unless you're Kirsten Dunst, of course.

Yes, Omar Little was booked on possession of a handgun in Baltimore this weekend. No, silly, it's not Omar Little the awesome gay vigilante who terrorized the drug dealers of Charm City that we all rooted for on The Wire, this was a real Omar Little. Turns out, he also favors a life of crime.