Oh Ke$ha! The faux-drunken pop star with rotting Jack Daniels-teeth has released a new viral video in which she and her slinky friends change the famous Hollywood sign to say Ke$hawood. And people think it's real! It's clearly not.
This is a transcript from a hearing of the Senate Pizza Responsibility Committee for an inquest into the wasting of two whole pies at a residence at 2000 S St, NW in Washington, D.C. The honorable Senator Joeseph Lieberman presiding.
Well gang, we did it. We got through a month of auditions episodes. Many of us died, even more of us are injured or dying, but we've struggled across the finish line and next week will taste glorious Hollywood.
We all need a hobby and logging a library of fetish films is just as valid as knitting. This singer lost all her money thanks to her husband's extra-curricular boyfriends. This actor's spends his off-time creating on-set drama. Relax, everyone.
The whole thing is supposed to be adorable, and it is, sorta. In the same kind of funny/sad way that this video was cute but also quietly unsettling. Though the husband assures us in the site's FAQs section that his wife is perfectly mentally fit and doesn't bawl uncontrollably at everything in life, just silly movies, we just don't know, man. This lady is a liiiittle wacky. What happens when she watches, like, Night and Fog? Does her face just fall off? Another scary fact: Apparently she "used to cry at the end of The Little Mermaid when she was 4." So this person is 25-years-old, tops. Unless the guy's talking about the weird Richard Chamberlain version where she turns to sea foam at the end. Is that the one? We doubt that's the one. Point being: What happens when she has kids? This, we guess.
Twas our penultimate tale of auditions on Idol last night, and yet again a woeful menagerie of lost souls flitted across our screens, floating through the thin air of Denver like warbling cowboy ghosts.
SPOILER ALERT, OK? Our pick for last night's most befuddling and intriguing moment was John Locke, or whoever that is these days — Evil Man in Black — telling Ben that he wants to "go home."
We all need a little lovin' and this guy prefers his of the plastic variety. This tween singer uses her lovin' to get her gigs, and this supposedly sober actor is lovin' getting drunk. We got a whole lotta love.
Lost is so confusing! But not that confusing. Here I will try to write, from memory without using any wikis, fan sites or Google, everything important that's happened on the show up to tonight's final-season premiere. Wish me luck.
We were too dumbstruck by Glenn Close's reconstructed face on Damages to watch the premiere of Kell on Earth. Luckily fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was working as an undercover intern for Kelly Cutrone during filming. Here is her full report.
We all need someone to look up to, and this kid is looking up at her famous sister copulating in public, in private, and everywhere. This different bad example lied about her illness to sick children. Such positive role models!
Best Art Direction
Avatar
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
Nine
Sherlock Holmes
The Young Victoria
Well, not your nominations. But you know what we mean. Anne Hathaway and her good friend Old Dude delivered the shimmering news just minutes ago.
