You might not know the name "Kathryn Joosten," but there's a good chance you'd recognize her face.

This Real Housewife talks about sex but won't say she's gay. The actors and directors on this gay-themed film won't talk about their love lives. This bi actress is getting back with her girlfriend, and this actor is banging a chick on set. Finally, some straight people in Hollywood!

The release date for the second movie has been announced and it is a long time from now. Also today: the end of Desperate Housewives, two Southerners finally get together, and it's goodbye to the gay on Gossip Girl.

This star's baby has a birth defect, possibly because she did blow while pregnant. This celebrity marriage happened because the female celeb lost a bet. This head of state is secretly gay. And this actor's wife's drug habit is making him miss work. Thankfully she's not with child.

Jesse James is still around. Nicollette Sheridan is still really upset about being fired from Desperate Housewives. David Arquette has "clean" hands. And Rupert Murdoch paid Sienna Miller for hacking her phone. Saturday gossip is all about payback.

Earlier this month, a train carrying watches, television sets and other luxury items for North Korea's heir apparent Kim Jong-un was derailed in what some speculate was an act of sabotage. No Desperate Housewives in HD for you, Little Kim!

When Nicollete Sheridan's character, Edie, was killed off Desperate Housewives, everyone had very interesting theories why this happened. Now it appears to have been a classic case of real-life revenge manifested in a fictional kill off.

We may have stopped watching this show seasons ago, but that doesn't mean we can't take a moment to recognize its ridiculous moments. Here we have Bree's attempts at seducing her husband—played by Kyle Mclaughlin—while in a wheelchair.

Desperate Housewives may not be the best show on television—and this clip is proof. "Fat Teri Hatcher" came about in a daydream about what Susan's life would be like if she stayed with her first husband. Phew!

Even the best television shows run out of creative juice if they stay on the air long enough. But, when is the right time to give up hope a show will improve and abandon it forever? Finally, a handy calculation!

As we draw deeper into the Circus Maximus era, the search for material goes to ever more interesting places; namely this week, rehearsal documentaries, male strip clubs and ghost videos. But we'll always have Housewives.

John Updike's The Witches of Eastwick has been a book, a film, a sequel and people have twice tried — and failed — to make it into a television series. Now ABC has done just that, but is it wise?

Ad agencies and network executives have long decried the the digital age's assault on commercials and, thus, revenue. And now they're forced to adapt, a move that brings writers into the fold and gives product placement an even bigger spotlight.

While we weren't loving last night's uneven season finale of Weeds, we were loving Nancy Botwin's parenting skills—or lack thereof. Who wants to be raised by a boring stroller-pusher when you can have someone to bring the crazy?

• Agyness Deyn isn't bidding goodbye to NYC, after all. But her little sister's moved in with her. [Grazia]
• Just before he died, Michael Jackson was supposedly in talks to launch a clothing line with Christian Audigier. Naturally, the slight turn of events isn't putting Audigier off from moving ahead with a Jackson-themed line. [MSNBC, SW]
• In news that will be of precious little value to you, Rachel Zoe's QVC collection is hitting Fashion Week this year; Kenny Chesney is launching a line of clothing; and some company is under the impression the public wants a collection of Desperate Housewives-inspired perfumes.
• Betsey Johnson chats with PlumTV about her retirement plans. [PlumTV]

Rather than trying to clean up her image, be-weaved country tune warbler Kim Zolciak, from Real Housewives of Atlanta, is doing the next best thing. She's decided to sue her former publicist.

In this economy, ABC can't afford to only let go every gay, gay-adjacent, or gay-hating actor on Grey's Anatomy. Other ABC series are feeling the burn, and two newly departing actors were announced today.

• Tom Cruise tried to impress a group of reporters at a press event in Brazil by speaking Spanish instead of Portuguese. Nice one, Tom. [P6]
• Etta James is no fan of Beyonce. She told a crowd in Seattle that she "can't stand" the singer, and that she "had no business" singing "At Last" at Obama's inauguration two weeks ago. Oh, and she's "gonna get her ass whupped," if she keeps singing Etta's songs, too. [NYDN, OK!]
• Paris Hilton wants to date a "big-money man" in LA, but she isn't having much success finding one who's willing to be seen with her in public. [P6]

Hey guys! So, we're starting this rumor that, uh... Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (yes, the dreamy president of Iran, who else?) is going to be making a, uh, sweeps-week cameo on, well, let's say Private Practice because why not? What's that? We sound a little unconvincing? Well, congratulations, you just beat out the rumor-sniffing skills of the crack team over at Page Six! Let's take a look at this similar, outlandishly wrong rumor they ran today about Sarah Palin, shall we:

It's the story we never get tired of hearing, and today the Los Angeles Times has it. The wives of Wall Street executives are having to scale back spending in the wake of poor economic times, and their mild suffering can become our immoral enjoyment as the previously pampered significant others have to tell their children, "Daddy can't buy you a Sea Doo watercraft this year."Housewife Fran Alvarez' husband was making $250,000 per annum writing software for Credit Suisse. Now things have taken a turn for terrible: