• In more PETA news, the organization has kidnapped Anna Nicole Smith's dogs and forced them to protest Iams pet food. Anna Nicole, however, thinks Iams tastes great. [AP/Yahoo]
• Details has a major scoop: Colin Farrell drinks beer! And next month, Details water as being really wet. [Hollywood Machine]
• Best name for a college sex column: Cornellingus. [The Atlantic (subscription req'd)]
• Men don't read. They also can't listen, don't understand you, and never take you anywhere nice. [BusinessWeek]
• Voice gossipette Michael Musto cannot be blamed for Gawker's sins. [NY Blade]
• Has anyone yet figured out why Manhattan smells like pancakes? Is it terror sugar? [AP/ABC]
• Project Runway reject Austin Scarlett thinks blackface is always in style. [PMc]
• Shame on Daily News staffer Bill Hutchinson for failing to note that jailed rapper Lil' Kim's lyrics channel the genius of Biggie Smalls. [NYDN]
• Depeche Mode tickets can be yours for just a little breast grope. Okay, not really a little grope — it's got to be at least 10 minutes' worth of heavy petting. [Craigslist]

Many readers wrote in to protest that we had not devoted enough attention to yesterday's remaindered Anderson Cooper essay on gray hair. In our defense, it's from August of 2003. Though the fact that it was originally published in Details did pique our interest. When we checked our vast glossy back-issue library, we found the original, pre-CNN version of the essay. Excerpts are presented here:

The new Details is out, and — who'd have thunk it — it's the mag's fifth anniversary issue. Well, it's not the fifth anniversary of the magazine, exactly, but the fifth anniversary of this iteration of the magazine. And it seems like just yesterday this version was born. Where does time go?

They're getting so used to moving publishers around at Si Newhouse's magazine companies that now they can do it virtually in their sleep. Chris Mitchell, publisher of Details since April 2004, quit Wednesday to go make furniture. Already there's a replacement: Paul Jowdy, who's moving from the associate publisher position at Vanity Fair.

From Page Six today:

You have to hand it to Details editor Dan Peres. By choosing to get married in August, perhaps the slowest news month of the year, he ensured that his wedding would not go unnoticed. Hell, it's not like we've got anything else to write about. So we'll indulge Peres and pay attention, if only for a moment and with the expected joke: Yes, the editor of Details got married. To a woman.

• If you support graffiti as viable artistic expression, you should really call Mayor Bloomberg and tell him yourself. [Animal]
• Think your buddy on the undergraduate 5 Year Plan is a slacker? Meet the man behind the 12 Year Plan. [GQ]
• We tend to avoid beauty coverage 'round here (seeing as you all are obviously gorgeous enough as is), but if Pat Benatar tells us to paint our nails, we're listening. [Cool Hunting]
• Great anecdotes in Matt Drudge pervanoia. [Crooks and Liars]
• Details continues to fly its big, gay flag. [Towleroad]
• Listen, Hilary Duff, you're cute. The new veneers? Hey, whatever floats your boat. But now you've taken it too far. [Just Jared]
• Ten things you should never tell the bouncer who's not letting you into the club, compiled by the bouncer who's not letting you into the club. [Clublife]

We were pointed to this ad on the Gay.com homepage, and, God, it's just so nice to see someone who's been struggling for so long finally accept who he is. (Or who it is, in this case.) Can't wait to see you at the Phoenix, Details. First drink's on us!

Yeah, blame the baby.

We knew our favorite hurricane-tossed CNN anchor had some difficulty selling his apartment a few months ago. But we had no idea just how emotionally taxing he found the whole experience.

Here's one way for a journalist to get through a celebrity profile: get high.

We hear former New Jersey governor Jim McGreevey may have lined himself up with a new gig as a columnist for a certain "is he, or isn't he" glossy. No, not Sweet Action, silly! Details!

The passing of the buck at metrosexual glossy Details has landed squarely in the manly hands of the preppy-hot blonde-boy Brian Farnham, who has been appointed Deputy Editor. We tip our hatfuls of hairgel to Farnham and pray that he survives those mandatory manicures. We also hear that Farnham loves being bent over and flogged by the ghost of recently-defected Deputy Editor Andrew Essex.

Nerve explores the burning question, "Is Details gay?" after Stuff and Radar suggest that it might beor at the very least, that if it's not gay, it's still gay. Michael Martin's take: "In an attempt to answer this question, I conducted some field research. I polled some friends, trying to locate another regular Details reader. I found none. Along the way, I realized something: as scintillating as Stuff and Radar's analysis was, it overlooked a crucial fact: the fact that Details is bad. Not to put too fine a point on things, but to make Details the target of an ironic joke is to grant the publication a level of complexity that it does not possess. To say that Details is covertly gay would be to say that it is overtly anything, and, well, it isn't."
Details' high-class hustle [Nerve]

The Post's Keith Kelly gets a preview of Talk veteran Maer Roshan's soon-to-be-launched magazine, Radar, and notes that it's already taking swipes at other magazines. Media targets include Jann Wenner, Bonnie Fuller, and particularly Details editor Dan Peres. "Let's Get One Thing Straight," says one article, "Dan Peres, editor-in-chief of Details, is not gay. But his magazine sure seems to be."
Radar's attitude: more SPY than Vanity Fair [Keith Kelly - Post]

They always, outside the pages of Details, end in tragedy. Lyle and Francine Greene pled guilty to public lewdness on the LIRR, though it wasn't clear whether it was the sexual act or the means of transport that was the greater offence against good taste. There was a third participant, a Dennis Greene, but the news reports gloss over his relationship with the couple. Meanwhile, the Fark website advises, after a threesome went wrong in Queens: "When having sex with two women at once, try not to slash them with your broken vodka bottle."
Couple Pleads Guilty in LIRR Sex Case [Newsday via 601am.com]
Trick turns deadly [New York Post]

The Village Voice's Cynthia Cotts reveals the holiday wish lists of editors and writers. Details' Andrew Essex: "More spell check and less identity theft."

Wrinkles, we knew about. The publicists insist that they're all erased in Photoshop. Standard practice. But fingernails? Kevin Spacey's were in such bad shape for a magazine photo shoot that the publicist insisted on a digital manicure. Let's face it: every celebrity magazine cover is the result of a conspiracy by publicists and journalists, who are about as honest with the public as boomtime CEOs and their pet equity analysts. So, given Elliot Spitzer's lack of interest in the corruption of celebrity journalism, Gawker is offering rewards for JPEGs of celebrity cover shots before and after Photoshop retouching. We'll give $200 for a Details, and $500 for a Vanity Fair, the money wired discreetly into your Paypal or Amazon account. Other rates on request.
celebcover@gawker.com