Allen "Mini-Madoff" Stanford, the crooked Texas financier charged with ripping investors off for billions, already had his head smashed in jail; now, he's being sent to detox to come down from his 3 mg/ day klonopin prescription. That's a lot.

Listen up, Mary Rambin and all other poor suckers who believe that magical herbal detoxes, fasts, or colonics will somehow "cleanse" your system of "toxins": they don't, okay. So stop buying them. Jesus.

Dr. Dre's loooooong-awaited new album Detox is allegedly dropping in the next 60 days, to coincide with the launch of a co-branded Dr. Dre cognac. The Loch Ness Monster is also scheduled to appear as soon as its own co-branded cognac launches. [Idolator]

It’s that time of the month year again! Oprah Winfrey, frequent flier on the countless and very public weight watching rollercoaster, has decided to turn her oft-used diet switch into On mode one more time. And the newest attempt at shedding pounds may be her kookiest plan yet, which Oprah says was inspired by a book called Quantum Wellness in addition to online sessions with a motivational speaker. Yes, these days those loud-mouthed mood boosters can motivate you without having to actually speak at all! So how will Winfrey rise to the get-slim-quick occasion this go-round? With tasty delights like mouth-watering tempeh and and positively sinful wheat-free crepes: