· Writer/producer Bob Gale and actor Christopher Lloyd will do the Q&A thing following a screening of Back to the Future at the ArcLight. That should be at least one-point-twenty-one-jigawatts of entertainment value.
· The first Res screening of the year takes place at the Egyptian tonight, with new videos for Interpol, Fatboy Slim and Dizzee Rascal. And did we mention there's an after-party?
· ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead brings their aggressive live show and unwieldy moniker to Cinespace. If you buy one of their CDs at a list of approved indie record stores (i.e., not Tower or Virgin), you get a free pass to the show.

· Tonight's utterly manufactured must-see TV moment: Stealthily gay Bachelorette contestant Fabrice, outed by TVGasm weeks ago, will reveal his "big secret" on the show tonight. Oooh, whatever could it be? Did he kill a guy?
· Dying to know exactly what's going to crawl across the screen at the beginning of this summer's new Star Wars movie? We know you are. [via BoingBoing]
· Hey, what happened to the "I Stole Brad" t-shirt site? Mysterious...
· This just in: Actors seeking new and exciting ways to throw away their money love them some poker.
· A dummy at CNN provides tabloids with easy "no respect" jokes.

· The Scissor Sisters bring their Elton-John-after-doing-3000-situps pop to the Wiltern. Attendance at the show does not actually require that you visualize Elton John doing any kind of physical exercise, but we do recommend an appreciation for men in overalls.
· The Beverly Hills Theater Guild’s 25th Annual Dinner honors Carol Channing. Other notables expected to attend include Bea Arthur, Carl Reiner and Angela Lansbury. Just think, for only $250 you could be in the same room as a Golden Girl and a mystery-solving novelist!
· Humor columnist Susan Jane Gilman reads from her memoir about growing up in NYC, Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress, at Dutton’s in Brentwood. Ah, so that's how you spell "pouffy."

[We interrupt our normal programming for a special message from our overlords at Gawker Media.] Today our Worldwide Blog Conglomerate cuts the umbilical cord of two new offerings, Lifehacker and Gridskipper. Lifehacker lets you once again seize control of your abusive relationship with your computer, and Gridskipper will help you find the best restaurants, hotels, and "massage parlors" in your favorite vacation destinations. We welcome them into the fold and we'll save them a seat at the company therapy sessions, unless they learn to cope with the beatings on their own.

Friday
· Artist Albert Reyes celebrates his latest exhibit with an opening tonight at the Black Market LA. We're intrigued: Flavorpill says he uses "images of Ronald McDonald with a posse of ladies and Michael Jackson giving us the finger." Good enough to get a nod from us!
· Brooklyn invades the eastside as dance-punk stalwarts Radio 4 play the Echo. They needn't worry, their thrift-store t-shirts will still play on this coast.
Saturday
· The very appropriately named ArtNights at 18th Street series features free art at the 18th Street Arts Center...at night. Some culture without cover charge wouldn't kill you, you know.
· DJ Sasha (of Sasha and Digweed fame) ditches vinyl for some fancy, digital music controller at his Avalon residency. We're sure his ability to induce booty-shaking will not be compromised by the encroachment of technology.
Sunday
· Fresh off a show during Sundance, Kings of Leon abandon the mountains for the comfort of the Sunset Strip.
· Give your mind a workout at Mental Yoga at Bergamot Station. Don't worry, we're pretty sure they're not going to go all Bikram on you and make your brain sweat.

Join us in a shout-out to this week's sponsors; to gaze upon them is to look into the blinding light of generosity itself. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and make sure that every agent in Hollywood with money burning a hole in the pocket of his Italian suit sees your product or service, visit our ad info page.

Thanks to the support of this week's sponsors, we're all experiencing the joys of open-mouth kissing. Interested in joining our make-out party? Info here.

· Poet Dorothy Bridges, wife of the late Lloyd and mother of Jeff, Beau and Lucinda, bring the kids along to discuss You Caught Me Kissing: A Love Story, at Barnes & Noble at the Grove. There's no question that they've supplanted the Baldwins as Hollywood's premiere literary family.
· Concert Round-Up: Dios Malos and French Kicks are at the Troubadour, The Section Quartet with guest vocalists Sam Phillips, Greg Dulli, and Grant Lee Phillips hit the Echo, and all-star band Camp Freddy (with Dave Navarro, et al) play a tsunami benefit at the Key Club with some surprise guests. There's no excuse not to get rocked in some way, shape, or form tonight.
· The Bush Twins Party Hour at the Next Stage in Hollywood features a very special guest...think inarticulate, recently re-elected, and a former cokehead.

· Courtney: So when’s the fat thing going to end?
Dave: When you stop eating.
Courtney: I’ve never been this fat in my life.
Dave: You need to stop eating. [via cityrag]
· Sharon Waxman and David O. Russell finally bury the hatchet, presumably with a minimum of fisiticuffs.
· Half-Blackface and Hanging Jokes: Two Johnny Carson Clips You Won't See on CNN This Week
· Yes, we did wind up quite minty fresh, thank you very much.
· The AP throws movie publicists a pity party after the Oscar noms were announced.
· No Shit Department: Jennifer Garner knew Elektra was going to suck and only did the movie because her contract said she had to.

· Concert round-up: Regina Spektor, who once joinied forces with the Strokes for a single, starts her two night run at the Hotel Café; Soundtrack of Our Lives brings their Swedish invasion and 70’s time-warp show to the Troubadour. We can almost taste the lava lamps. Meatballs. We meant meatballs. Or did we?
· Readings: World War II vet John Adler reads from his autobiographical novel Quest for Survival at Dutton’s in Beverly Hills. If you're not into "real" history (all those guns and bombs can be so depressing) and still want to be somewhat pointy-headed, Bergamot Station hosts French-American film scholar Michael Henry Wilson as he discusses A Personal Journey With Martin Scorsese Through American Movies, which he co-authored with the bushy-browed auteur. [info for both here]
· The UCLA Film and Television Archive presents a double bill of man-made disaster with Chernobyl Heart and Inheritance: A Fisherman’s Story, which explore the destruction caused by the Russian nuclear disaster and the dumping of 120,000 tons of cyanide waste in a Hungarian river, respectively. Fun for the whole green family!

Defamer Special Correspondent James Rocchi files a brief sighting from Park City via Crackberry:

Hollywood PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are sent in by our readers. Send your to tips@defamer.com and let the whole world know that Nic Cage wears huge heels.

We've finally returned to the real world, leaving behind the Xanadu nestled in the mountains of Utah, where regular people walk the same streets as A-list actors, where studio-sponsored free alcohol flows like a development exec's urine over his assistant's spec script, and where a movie premiere is a snowball's throw away at any given time. Why can't we reproduce that kind of paradise in Los Angeles?

While a joking offer to shoot up in the bathroom with Scott Weiland might meet with a grateful acceptance or a polite, "I'm clean now" refusal, the same overture to Ron Howard's best buddy would probably result in a deal to write the sequel to A Beautiful Mind. Thankfully, this reader realized exactly which celebrity he was spying on before he committed an embarrassing faux pas and altered cinematic history,

A special thanks to think week's sponsors, without whom we'd be picking nits out of Nick Nolte's hair for a sweatshop wage. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and reach Hollywood's secret, spend-happy elite, see our ad info page.

It's time to holla at this week's sponsors, who paid for the space heaters necessary to keep our typing fingers nicely thawed. Interested in sharing the love? Info here.

· Original Michael Jackson Bad album art leaked to Craigslist!
· Beware: Kicking your drug habit might make you fat. But you'll get your kid back, so carefully weigh the pros and cons before attempting.
· Why else would anyone freeze their ass off outside the inauguration other than to swear loudly within earshot of a CNN camera?
· Say what you will about Christian conservative groups issuing a "gay alert" for SpongeBob, but we've always felt he was a little light in the cartoon loafers. Someone's going to catch him at the bathhouse with Tinky Winky, and then all hell's going to break loose in the Bible Belt.

· The 14th annual Photo LA Exhibit kicks off with an opening night gala at the Santa Monica Civic Auditorium, and includes works by artists like Diane Arbus, Ansel Adams, and Robert Mapplethorpe. We're uncultured mouth-breathers and we've even heard of those three.
· If Photo LA doesn’t get you hot and bothered, the Erotic Museum in Hollywood an exhibition of "sex-spiritual art" by graffiti and tattoo artist Mike GIANT (all caps his). Tattoos and sex...sounds very Jolie, a definite plus in our book.
· Should your voyeuristic tendencies abandon you, you could just check out a good rock show, as Elefant is at the Henry Fonda with Run Run Run.

· Jesus, it's almost too easy. Lindsay Lohan has problems swallowing. [via Fleshbot]
· Also, Lohan's mom finally files for divorce from her restrain' order violatin', rehabbin', time servin' husband.
· Hey kids! Too young to hop a plane and help with the tsunami clean-up? Just hop on the Web and you can clean up your very own decimated beach in between episodes of Blue's Clues, courtesy of FEMA!
· What's wrong with Sundance? Hint: it runs deeper than the $50,000 celebrity gift bags.
· Johnny Carson has been sending jokes to David Letterman from his secret retirement bunker. Jay Leno, however, only receives the occasional flaming bag of dog shit.

· The Egyptian Theatre screens Down Under Wonders: A Night of Australian Shorts. Unfortunately, we assume that none star that hunky Russell Crowe guy, but can we at least get a little Guy Pearce?
· Lush Entertainment and E! host the Celebrities For Tsunami event at Joseph's in Hollywood, which they claim will be jam-packed with models, actors, and A-listers. Booze and hobnob your way through the night, all in the name of charity.
· Spaceland hosts The Bravery, who must be very important in the eastside world, judging from the huge typeface on the schedule page. Dirty Little Secret and Everything Moves are along for the ride.