Right. Valleywag's been called "ValleyWag" too much to ignore. A quick guide to Valley capitalization, spacing, and punctuation:

You can't go a week without someone saying Google's buying you. And after so long, "no comment" won't cut it.

Can you digg it? Yes I can. Digg genius Kevin Rose and Six Apart baron Ben Trott may not have sold for millions (yet), but who needs money when you've got a cute boy?

Nice job, Cisco! Sinking $48.5 mil into a use-controlling video machine that even Disney is neglecting? That's forward thinking. [WaPo via TechDirt]
"Companies like Netscape productized the output." Whoa there! "Productized"? You. Yeah, you. Out of the pool. [Inside Firefox]
What if they held a system outage and nobody came? [Blogger Status]
Leave it to Digg to have the "Steve Jobs has no license plate" story covered. [Digg]
Jobs's little white ingot shrinks to 1 GB. [Chicago Tribune]

Another Gillmor Gang podcast, another hour and a half of white guys saying "um." If your ears aren't bleeding within five minutes, you'll at least want to walk in and SHAKE these guys when they get distracted and start talking about Darwinism. Blogger (and Tinfinger CEO) Paul Montgomery says just what we're all thinking: cut it down! And Steve, shut up!

In an industry run by pudgy middle-aged men, it's hard to find celebrity lookalikes — unless you cast Paul Giamatti in every role. So why isn't Hollywood jumping on Digg founder Kevin Rose? When the hell will we get to see Jason Schwartzman play him in "Digg: the movie"? You know, the trailers could be like "A clumsy but good-hearted guy comes to an understanding of existence through his social bookmark site. Costarring Mark Wahlberg."

How evil is Google? Link-forum Digg, inspired by the giant's latest choice of the lesser evil, resurrects an old Internet gag. The Gematriculator gauges a site's evilness by vowel content (or something. It's SCIENCE).

After the New York Post reported that Google would buy Napster, a Google spokesperson denied any such plans. Looks like someone's trying to float a rumor and sell their stock. Meanwhile, Technorati's looking to sell its search tools, Six Apart might stay solo, and Digg.com is fighting lucrative sale rumors.

Digg founder Kevin Rose ritually denied the rumor that Yahoo bought his social bookmark venture for $40 million (or was it $30 million?). Let's weigh the possibilities.