Forty years ago today, Teamster boss Jimmy Hoffa went out to lunch and disappeared forever. Do you know where he is? If so, tell us. We could use a good story right about now.

British people whose only friends are birds are freaking out this summer, as hundreds of their cherished pets are disappearing somewhere over England and no one can figure out what is happening to them or how to make friends with a human.

Seriously, do you know? He's been missing since June. We mentioned last week that he's probably in rehab (also that he's a callow scion who owes everything to the circumstances of his birth, something a lot of you disagreed with!), but that his staff and family are still resolutely refusing to tell his constituents what's going on. His father vigorously denied a report that he'd attempted suicide, insisting that he's just "regaining his strength." An anonymous friend told a Chicago radio station that "he doesn't get a lot of sleep and he has sleep disorders." What do you think? Drugs? Suicide? Chronic illness he wants to keep secret?

We all held our breath on Wednesday when an anti-freckle cream jar was discovered on Nikumaroro Island in the Pacific. This seemed to support the leading theory by The International Group for Historic Aircraft Recovery (TIGHAR) that Amelia Earhart landed on a coral atoll near the island, and survived — at least for a bit.

If you didn't stop believin' the abduction-cum-affair of Michaele Salahi could get weirder—and make those involved appear more publicity-hungry—there's now this video from TMZ of Tareq Salahi and Michael Lohan leaving a Washington, DC restaurant together last night.

The curious case of Michaele Salahi, the White House party crasher and one-time Real Housewife whose husband reported her missing, possibly kidnapped, this morning, seems to have been solved.

Sound the alarm! Alert the authorities that haven't already been alerted! Michaele Salahi, White House party-crasher turned temporary Real Housewives star, has maybe been abducted, claims her husband.

Here's some Nancy Grace-nip you'll be hearing a lot more about in the coming weeks: Robyn Gardner is a 35-year-old Maryland woman who took off recently on a vacation to Aruba with a man she barely knew: Gary Giordano, 50, also from Maryland, whom she had met online. Gardner has been missing since last Tuesday, and Giordano — who it turns out has a criminal record and a history of domestic violence—is now in custody.

Debra Schmitt, a recently divorced high school teacher in San Rafael, California, didn't show up for class last Thursday. Students found the message "Thank you everyone" on the blackboard, but no teacher. She hasn't been seen since. Ominous. [AP]

Someone in the Brooklyn Federal Courthouse (or NYPD) has a thing for used boxer shorts.

Just a few days after discovering that Tokyo's "oldest man" had actually been dead for 30 years, city officials found out the oldest woman—supposedly 113 years old—hasn't been seen since 1986. Embarrassing! [BBC; pic via Shutterstock]

The father of missing Oregon second grader Kyron Horman mysteriously filed for divorce and a restraining order against Kyron's stepmother last week. We now know why. A landscaper told police Terri Horman offered him money to kill her husband.

It's been four weeks since 7-year-old Kyron Horman vanished from his Portland, Oregon grade school. Last week, Kyron's father filed for divorce and a restraining order from his stepmother, the last person to see Kyron before he disappeared.

Oregon second-grader Kyron Horman vanished without a trace from his Portland elementary school nearly two weeks ago. Now the investigation has begun to focus on his stepmother, and her trip to a nearby island on the day of Horman's disappearance.

A stupid psychic from Idaho stupidly tipped off the police that he believed vanished Oregon second-grader Kyron Horman was in Yreka, California. This spurred an increased focus on the town. Surprise! He wasn't there. He's been missing for nine days.

Oregon second-grader Horman has been missing for six days now. Authorities have no clue what happened to him. Luckily the Internet does: It was his stepmom! They can tell from her Facebook updates.

The last time anyone saw 7 year-old Kyron Horman, he was walking down the hall of his Portland, Oregon elementary school to a classroom 150 feet away. Four days later, nobody knows where he's gone, or why.

Douglas Schantz, the president of natural gas firm Sequent Energy Management, was hanging out on Bourbon Street in New Orleans with coworkers around 2 a.m. last Friday morning. He hasn't been seen since.