Two construction workers renovating a hotel on Staten Island got on the elevator yesterday morning. The door, they found, was stuck. The men began pressing buttons for every floor, trying to find one that would work. Eventually, they ended up in the basement. From the NYT:

"Everyone into the survival pods, quickly! We may be smashed and the pressure could blow! Space death and boiling blood is what we face!" These words or some version of them were likely spoken aboard the International Space Station yesterday around 8 a.m. Eastern Standard Time, when the astronauts there were *nearly* obliterated by speeding space debris.

At least 44 are dead after a jet crashed onto a highway in northwestern Russia late Monday night, officials say. It was coming from Moscow, and crash-landed in heavy fog nearly one mile from the runway at its destination in Besovets. There were 43 passengers and 9 crew members on board; some, including a child, survived, and were taken to a nearby hospital. [CNN, video via AP]

Arizona has been having some troubles again, this time with massive wildfires torching the already barren hellscape. You know why? Because it's a desert. All you need is, say, a golf club nicking a rock, or some other painfully simple action, and boom: death flames everywhere. Or you can just blame the illegal immigrants in their pyromanic fly-by-night encampments, as Sen. John McCain has.

Something not good has gone down at Cooper Nuclear Station, an electrical power plant near the Missouri River in southeast Nebraska. The region has been flooding steadily for weeks, and with river levels rising, the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers released water from two dams on Saturday in anticipation of more heavy rains this week.

You can't really predict where you're going to be when an earthquake hits, but when a 6.3 quake rumbled New Zealand on Monday, the people in this hardware store were stuck scrambling from falling tools and machines.

At least three tornadoes touched down in Oklahoma on Tuesday, including one currently wreaking havoc in the Oklahoma City suburbs. According to local channel KFOR, at least two are dead and more injured, with heavy damage in the suburbs of El Reno, Goldsby and Piedmont.

The confirmed death toll from Sunday's devastating tornado in Joplin, Missouri, stands at 116 as of early Tuesday. The storm at times had winds of 190 to 198 miles per hour, officials told the AP, and was three-quaretrs of a mile wide. And, the same area of Missouri could get hit again later today:

When a massive twister hit Joplin, Mo. last night, YouTube user izelsg was trapped inside a convenience store. He posted this terrifying video shortly after, writing:

More details of yesterday's tornado in Joplin, Missouri, have emerged after a press conference there early this morning. Officials said that 89 people are confirmed dead, and a Fire Department spokesman told reporters that the tornado had "cut the city in half." The path of the tornado was a mile wide and six miles long, and it destroyed much of the St. John's Regional Medical Center.

Tornadoes in Joplin, Missouri, have killed at least 30 people, and perhaps far more. A coroner told Reuters: "We have heard up into the over-100 (range), but ... I don't think anyone has a good count right now."

Have you heard about Iceland's fun new volcanic eruption, a nine-mile plume of ash coming out of its most active volcano, Grímsvötn? Let us guide you with a helpful volcano FAQ!

Sure, it's a thinly-veiled promo for disaster preparedness, but we can't help but be comforted by the CDC's blog post "Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse." Turns out they know exactly what to do in the likely event of a zombie invasion.

So far this year, the U.S. has had to shell out more than a billion dollars to deal with the aftermath of five weather disasters caused by Mother Nature—who seems to think we're made out of money or something. Typical woman.

Two earthquakes hit southern Spain in quick succession today, resulting in several deaths and widespread damage. This comes on the day some predicted an earthquake would destroy Rome, which resulted in thousands fleeing the city. Looks like the prophesy was only off by a few countries. Let's hope those exiled Italians didn't head to Spain.

Is Rome going to be destroyed in a massive earthquake tomorrow, May 11? According to a rumored prophesy, yes! And so, "thousands of people are reported to be staying out of Rome for the next few days."

Geez, the federal government sure has made the last year so tough for struggling oil companies to get new offshore drilling leases. And if there's one sector that needs a helping hand these days, well, it's oil. But thanks to House Republicans those dark days will soon be over! Yesterday a bill was passed — creatively titled the Restarting American Offshore Leasing Now Act — by a vote of 266-to-149 to bring back offshore drilling auctions, which had been shelved in order to make sure safety and environmental concerns were addressed — a long, drawn out mess that was probably pretty annoying for oil companies.

It's been a rough 24 hours across the storm-ravaged South. Here's a roundup of the latest news.

The death toll from the storms and tornadoes that tore across the south yesterday has risen, with the governor of Alabama today saying that 128 people are confirmed dead there. Dozens more across the region have died.

Harry Hurt III (pictured, with pal) used to write a column in the New York Times business section called "Executive Pursuits," in which Harry Hurt went off and did something wacky and upscale and wrote about it. It always struck me as a wholly unnecessary exercise in self-absorption, which had nothing to do with business at all, except for the fact that Harry Hurt is a rich guy. Now, he's back—pioneering the use of advertising and product placement in books. Oh. Good.