In your outrageously newsy Wednesday media column: a PR conspiracy theory for Us Weekly, updates on Conde Nast layoffs and Interview cheapskate-ness, Steve Bartelstein vanishes, and trade mags start wheezing:

Dan Klores is the smartest man in PR. That's because he's not in PR any more. He founded his eponymous agency, which made (and still makes) him a ton of money, and then decided, "You know what? Fuck this shit. I'm gonna make movies." Now he spends all his time making (actually good!) documentaries and hosting soirees for various power brokers, without ever having to deal with the actual PR industry much. And he's about to move further up the entertainment industry food chain, because HBO has signed him to direct a movie version of his Believe-it-or-not psycho documentary Crazy Love. This, I will watch.