Sometimes, dogs amaze you with their stupidity; other times, they amaze you with their smarts. We're not sure which of the two this video—of a dog who is very confused by an escalator—falls under, but it's still cute.

Walking a dog should be simple. You put the leash on the dog, and then you walk it. But what if the dog was so lazy that it wanted to do nothing but lay on its back? The result, inside.

Can you tell that it's Friday afternoon? Fresh from the abyss known as the "World Wide Web," here's a video of a chihuahua playing pool. Bonus: the little guy growls at each ball before he sinks it in the hole.

Dogs! Cute dogs! Cute dogs using exercise equipment! Yay! Anyway, here's a video of two adorable Corgi pups workin' on their fitness with a whip, snap, grin on their faces, and just enough tongue-wagging to complement the rest of it.

Click to viewBoomp3.com Jake Gyllenhaal’s Dog: Hey Reese, do you know when Jake is getting back? Reese Witherspoon: Uh….What? J.G.D.: My dad, Jake. Do you know when he’s coming home? (Witherspoon removes one of her ear buds) R.W.: Sorry. I couldn’t hear you there. Listening to Bob Seger. (Jake Gyllenhaal’s Dog nods his head.) J.G.D: Gotta love the Seger. I’m more of a Springstein fan. Anyways, I asked if you knew when my dad was getting back? I kind of miss him. A lot. R.W.: Well, mommy misses him too. J.G.D.: Wait…whoa..wait. You’re my mom? R.W.: Well, I’m working on it. I don’t want to jinx myself though. J.G.D.: So, no idea as to when he’s coming back home? Can he get e-mail out wherever he is. R.W: Oh yeah. We do that iChat thing with the cameras all the time. He looks great. Tan and all buff. You’d be impressed. J.G.D: So, you’ve been talking to my dad all this time? Not fair. Not fair at all. R.W.: I didn’t know you were so concerned. You’re just usually licking yourself or sleeping, so I wasn’t sure. I will let you talk to him the next time we talk, okay? Photo Credit: Flynet *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Baloney McCheesestick seized a golden opportunity on Thursday afternoon to get busy with Gossip Girl star Blake Lively. Baloney's parents knew that one of their child's greatest desires was to hump the leg of one of the actresses from the popular CW series. Baloney's mother said, "Whenever we watch the show, Baloney just goes to town on his little sleep pillow." Baloney's father felt that his son's habit had become disturbing, but is optimistic that Baloney's session with Blake Lively's right boot will cure his problem. Baloney's father said, "He's been there, he's done it and, hopefully, it's over. We can only hope that he doesn't get into the new 90210."

Jessica Biel: Hey, do you want to go to the park today? Play with the other dogs?
Jessica Biel's Dog: Too hot for park today. Also, there are too many people there. Way too many.
J.B.: Well, do you want to go a movie? Catch that new Batman movie?
J.B.D: I saw it the other day with the dog from next door. We went to the Bridge. I'll never make that mistake again.
J.B.: Why's that?
J.B.D: It's like a smaller version of City Walk. Ugh. If it's not the Arclight, then it's probably bullshit. You know what I mean?
J.B.: Yeah....So, what do you want to do today?
J.B.D.: Do you want to get a smoothie?
J.B.: Nah. Do you just want to sit in front of a fan and do Darth Vader impressions?
J.B.D.: Best idea I heard all day.

All those of hours of practice and hard work finally paid off for Reese Witherspoon and her bulldog as they successfully struck a similar pose on their way to Fred Segal. Witherspoon was inspired by the CBS reality series Greatest American Dog and wanted to have a symbiotic relationship with the pup. Witherspoon didn't want to become a crazy dog lady, but she realized that her bulldog was just too cute to not pal around with while in Hollywood.

Yesterday, we singled out Page A27 of the Saturday Times as the weekend incarnate. That was rash; we had yet to fully consider Page B1 of the Wall Street Journal Weekend Edition, above. This dog's eyes betray the wonder and sadness of a first-time Quicken user. Also, regardless of whether they can actually question things or actually have sans-serif X's on their butts, should we be worried that man's best friend seems to have discovered movable type?