A New Jersey teenager recently lived out every one of your anxieties about zip lining when he tried to use a t-shirt as a pulley and ended up with a broken leg.

A federal judge has struck down New York state's $150,000 annual limit on individuals' contributions to super PACs. Buy yourselves some of that Free Speech™, y'all. It's really getting to be worth something.

Email. We love it, until it burns us. Like when you think you're sending instructions to a coworker on how to whittle down a pesky reporter's request for federal records related to the Washington Navy Yard shooting, and you realize too late that you emailed them to the reporter himself.

Dwayne Kennedy has been in prison in California since 1990. Last year, he was finally granted parole. He was so very happy! He borrowed another inmate's contraband cell phone to call his family. "We were crying and praying" with joy, his sister says. And then?

Beleaguered outlaw vandalartist Poster Boy was arrested again last week, for cutting up subway ads in Brooklyn. His effort at sweet-talking the cops left something to be desired.

Ha ha ha, the nation's second largest newspaper made an embarrassing basic tech fuckup! In an email to subscribers this afternoon, the Wall Street Journal included one of its signature market-moving stock market columns, published at 5:04 p.m. Wait, but they usually embargo "Heard On The Street" until morning! Well, it's pretty clear from the headline, "TEST TEST Duke Hits A Ditch," that the story wasn't quite ready for the proverbial prime time! But the subhead is clearly written: "The troubles at Duke are mounting. Is it too early to buy?" Did the Journal just send lucky subscribers a sneak preview of tomorrow's advice?Um, judging from this here chart, Duke's troubles started "mounting" awhile ago. But from what I hear of morale over at the Journal these days you could probably find another financial reporter willing to tip you off every day for about thirty grand. Just remember, cubs, you aren't allowed to profit off the confessional memoir when you do that so… probs better off just getting into crack.

Entertainment Weekly is ranking the best guest stars to appear on The Simpsons. How the hell did they miss Ron Howard and Mel Gibson? And Mr. Burns' whole ringer baseball team? See who else they snubbed here.

Yesterday the DOH came for Serendipity. Today they've shuttered inexplicably popular Tribeca sandwich and pie spot Bubby's. Where will Robert DeNiro brunch now? Where will Gisele get her poached eggs? Where will David Blaine eat waffles? Someone call the UN Refugee Agency, we're gonna need some blue tarps in Tribeca, STAT! [Eater]