A driver who had gone missing on the road in New Mexico after a one-car accident says he woke up the following morning in a field of donkeys and wasn't so clear on how he got there.

Today we heard from donkey semen swallower Brynne Odioso, who said knocking back a glass of viscous donkey spooge is "the sickest thing you can ever imagine."

After discovering that the Fear Factor episode in which they chugged mugs of donkey semen and urine had been canceled, twins Brynne and Claire Odioso called into Tampa radio's Cowhead Show to describe their harrowing ordeal. Shortly thereafter, Brynne told me by phone today, NBC-Universal told her to STFU.

A Zimbabwean man was busted on Sunday at 4 a.m. penetrating a donkey tied to a tree in his backyard (with his penis). The man, 28-year-old Sunday Moyo, admitted to the court that it indeed must have looked bad — but hear him out! Because only a few hours earlier, the donkey was a human prostitute.

Here's Texas congressional candidate Roger Williams, Republican, giving a good tongue-lashing to some welfare queen donkeys. Take some personal responsibility for once, you damnable beasts! "These donkeys don't live in the United States of France, they live in the United States of America," he tell us, before turning to the donkeys and saying, "Have you ever heard of the Constitution?" And yet this hypocrite is probably all-compliments when the elephants drop by.

Rupert Murdoch-owned tabloid newspaper The Sun this week bought the Russian parasailing donkey, Anapka, after video of the animal hit the internet, upsetting many of its readers. "Our readers were deeply moved," correspondent Garry O'Shea told the AP.

[This is a four-day-old zedonk standing with its mother at the Chestatee Wildlife Preserve in Georgia. A zedonk is 50 percent zebra, 50 percent donkey, and 100 percent CUTE. Photo via AP.]

Say you're an entrepreneur trying to sell parasailing trips at the beach, but advertisements aren't working. What do you do? Attach a screaming donkey to a parachute and let it drift, because nothing says "beach getaway" like a tortured animal.