Oprah and Obama aren't going to Chelsea's wedding—they weren't even invited. Is the location an elaborate ruse? Could Bristol Palin be trying to upstage her? A guide to the most perplexing wedding of the century.

Michael Stipe turns 50 today. Actress Julia Ormond is turning 45. Comedian/satirist Andy Borowitz is 52. Director Harmony Korine (Kids, Gummo) turns 37. Presidential historian and author Doris Kearns Goodwin is turning 67. Comic actor Dave Foley (NewsRadio) is turning 47. And retired football coach Don Shula is 80 today.