If you are a member of the savvy “millennial” generation you stand for two things: authenticity, and hipness. And you know god damn well in your little black hearts that no bank is more authentic—and hip—than Bank of America.

Bristol and mommy Sarah are right now on Oprah feeding America's women some bullshit line about abstinence. Oprah voices her concern that women making an annoucement about waiting for marriage are "setting themselves up." Wait until you hear Bristol's answer.

Remember when "Bruno" fell bare-assed into Eminem's lap at the MTV Movie Awards? Well, the fine folks over at Fox & Friends were so offended by that tasteless skit that they went outside to play football with women in lingerie!