Doug and Paris rekindle their tainted love, Sienna Miller falls for the "Slinky Wizard," Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper play grab-ass, Justin Timberlake buys a house in Greenwich, Paula Abdul might head to ABC and Russell Brand seeks new love.
• Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore suffered a big scare when the plane they were on was forced to make an emergency landing in Las Vegas shortly after take-off. Fortunately, neither actor was injured and they could return to tweeting within minutes of the incident. [People]
• Leonardo DiCaprio appears to be moving on now that he's no longer with Bar Refaeli: He was seen with SI model Anne Vyalitsyna in Ibiza. [P6]
• Bethenny Frankel was seen in the bathroom of a restaurant with a pregnancy test, so it appears she's looking to reproduce. You've been warned. [P6]
• An Italian photographer is accusing Naomi Campbell of sending him to the hospital after she allegedly clobbered him with her handbag and scratched his eye with her nails. Naturally, this sort of behavior is totally unlike Campbell and couldn't possibly be true. [Daily Mail]
• Billy Joel is supposedly "completely distraught" over his breakup with Katie Lee Joel and is now trying to "rekindle the relationship." [P6]
• It looks like Mischa Barton is recovering nicely. She's "smiling again," according to the Sun. And Vanity Fair reports she made her "first appearance on the city’s social circuit" last night. [Sun, VF]
Michael Jackson's doctor is still just as sketchy as before. Tom Cruise will raise your kids for you. Jude Law's new baby's name, rappers, witches, Heroes, Gossip Girls, and Ashton Kutcher's fake life. Presenting an epic Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:
• Paris Hilton reportedly broke up with boyfriend Doug Reinhardt after she saw him partying with a "Texas beauty queen" named Kendhal Beal. The heiress responded by throwing a fit (and some fruit and ice in Beal's direction). But don't you worry about Paris. She's got her dependable sister by her side. And she's already moved on to someone new, namely soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo. [P6, People]
• Madonna will be performing her Kabbalah rituals today with an extra bit of enthusiasm: Malawi's highest court has overturned its previous ruling and has granted her adoption of Mercy James. Justice to the people! [DM]
• Dr. Drew Pinsky of Celebrity Rehab is offering Lindsay Lohan six figures to appear on his VH1 reality show. But only because he cares deeply about her well-being, not because he's interested in ratings or anything. [NYP]
• It looks like it's over for Paris Hilton and boyfriend Doug Reinhardt. Please excuse us while we go get a big box of tissues; we really weren't mentally prepared for news this upsetting this morning. [People, Sun]
• A couple of weeks ago, it was Gwynnie Paltrow who was getting blamed for setting A-Rod up with Kate Hudson. Now real estate "superagent" Adam Modlin is taking credit for brokering the transaction. Go figure. [NYDN]
• Maybe Kanye West and Amber Rose didn't break up, after all. Or maybe they did break up, but they're spending a lot of time together anyway? It's a mystery, really. [P6]
• Coco Rocha is not going to be an intern at Vogue this summer. She's just spending a lot of time there so she can "learn more about the business." [WWD]
• It looks like it's war between two Hamptons magazines that no one actually reads: A title called Hamptonite is now accusing Devorah Rose's Social Life of destroying copies of its debut issue last weekend. Social Life denies the accusation, although when members of the Real Housewives are involved, anything is possible, really. [P6]
• In A-Rod/Madonna news, the Yankee is still dating Kate Hudson and she's already started "following [him] around." For her part, Madonna is reportedly "livid" at Gwyneth Paltrow because she blames her for setting the two up. [P6, NYDN]
• Rihanna may finally open up about the alleged assault on her by Chris Brown: Prosecutors say they'll subpoena her to appear at a June 22 hearing to decide if there's enough evidence to move ahead with the case. [People]
• Are Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick planning to leave the West Village behind? That's what Britain's Daily Mirror is reporting today, although the story seems to be based on the fact a moving truck happened to be parked outside the couple's townhouse yesterday (maybe Broderick was just rid of some old furniture?), so you may want to take the news with a grain of salt. [DM]
• Mariah Carey had some issues with her stylist in Cannes last week. But she walked away with "millions of free diamonds" when she stopped off in Turkey this past weekend, so hopefully that made up for the inconvenience. [P6]
• Kanye West says he doesn't read books or have any respect for books. But he's just written one that he'd really like you to buy and read. [Reuters]
• Mike Tyson's 4-year-old daughter, Exodus Tyson, died yesterday following her treadmill accident on Monday. [Us]
• Despite the fact his dad says they're planning a Kabbalah commitment ceremony and he's currently shacking up at her apartment, Jesus Luz tells a Brazilian TV station that Madonna is "just a friend." Also: He really doesn't mind it if you refer to him as her "boy toy." [NYDN]
• Kiefer Sutherland has apologized to Jack McCollough for head-butting him, and charges against the actor are likely to be dropped. Not that he's learned much of a lesson: He was spotted boozing it up on the LES with his daughter in tow last week. [NYP, P6]
• The celebrity crime wave continues: Kevin Bacon had his BlackBerry stolen from him last week. And Monica Bellucci and husband Vincent Cassel had more than a quarter of a million dollars in cash and jewels taken from them while they were attending the Cannes Film Festival. [NYP, DM]
• Mel Gibson has confirmed that he and his Russian musician girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, are expecting. [People, NYDN]
• Mariah Carey spent Memorial Day in Turkey. Why Turkey? Because a hotel paid her $1.5 million to perform, that's why. [P6]
• Did Beyoncé really send a look-alike to stand in for her at an art museum in Vienna so she could go shopping instead? That's what many Austrians seem to think, and the museum now says it plans to issue a protest. And here we were thinking decoy body doubles were just for presidents and mafia kingpins. [AFP]
• James Gandolfini erupted at a group of paparazzi outside the Waverly Inn the other night. Fortunately—for the drama-loving masses, at least—they kept their cameras on during the episode and it was all caught on tape. [TMZ]
• Real-life roommates Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick might be splitting up, since Chace is reportedly looking for a loft of his own downtown. [P6]
• Mel Gibson and Russian singer Oksana Grigorieva made their first public appearance together last night at an X-Men screening in LA. [People]
• Strippers at Sapphire East's opening were supposedly told not to take their clothes off until after Samantha Ronson finished her set, since she's "so girl-crazy, she can't concentrate." [P6]
• Paris Hilton is getting married! Well, sort of. America's original celebutard told reporters that boyfriend Doug Reinhardt is "going to be my husband," and now friends say they're planning a summer wedding in the Bahamas. These two are going to be together forever, just you wait and see. [E!]
• The Lindsay Lohan-Sam Ronson trainwreck rolls on: Ronson seems to have changed her mind and decided she no longer wants a restraining order; LiLo says she's "devastated" by the breakup and that everyone has turned on her. Now Lohan's friends say they're worried she's suicidal. [People, Us, TMZ]
• You didn't expect Michael Lohan to pass up a PR opportunity, did you? He says he's cleared his schedule and put aside his "numerous commitments" to help Lindsay through this crisis. [OK!]
• Madonna isn't taking her legal defeat in Malawi very well: Not only did she send her kids to stay with Guy Ritchie so she could "drown her sorrows" with Stella McCartney, she wore an "uncharacteristically mumsy outfit," too, which can't possibly be a good sign. [Sun, DM]
• It seems Michael Wolff is finally coming clean about intern-turned-girlfriend Victoria Floethe: The author and Vanity Fair contributor brought her to a tasting at Graydon Carter's Monkey Bar last week and now admits he and his wife Alison Anthoine are planning to divorce. [P6]
• This will probably come as a huge surprise given his upstanding reputation, but it's rumored Bernie Madoff hasn't been faithful to his wife all these years, and may have cheated on her on a couple of occasions. [R&M]
• A "friend" of Joe Biden's daughter Ashley has been trying to sell a tape of her allegedly snorting cocaine for $250,000. [NYDN]
• Madonna appeared in a Malawian court today to discuss her adoption of a four-year-old girl, but a judge put off a decision until Friday. [AP, NYP]
We have to admit, we were surprised at how much our hearts ached in the absence of Lauren Conrad - who was sojourning to Italy for some much needed R&R after exhausting her energy crying mascara tears while sparring with Audrina - during the majority of last night's episode of The Hills. But we knew those crafty MTV producers wouldn't leave us hanging, sending entertainment in the form of Linda Thompson, Brody Jenner's mom. You may be more familiar with Brody's dad, Bruce Jenner, a former Olympian who along with his wife, Kris, helm their clan of estrogen-fueled narcissists on Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Linda, on the other hand, is a plastic-surgery addled cougar extraordinaire who apparently once dated Elvis Presley. Well, on the show last night during Stephanie Pratt and LC's former flame Doug Reinhardt's maybe-date at hotspot Beso, Linda runs into the couple and eyes the shit out of little Dougie the baseball player's physique. "Are you two on a date? Is that what's happening here?" she asks. "Just wondering!" she shrugs, throwing her hands in the air. We're sure you're just curious, Linda. But this is a woman who scored with The King - so the son of a frozen burrito heir? Ain't no thang. [The Hills]
