Internet person Rex Sorgatz put the pieces together-the New York story on the mean Brownstoner commenter, the Times story on commenters running the asylums, and finally last week's Time piece that was kinda-sorta in defense of anonymous nastiness. Commenters are a trend! Everyone is basically terrified of them! And this weekend, former blog entrepreneur Jason Calacanis up and quit the internet. Or, at least, he quit blogging. And started a private email list! Which is basically the definitive proof that the War is Over and the Commenters Won.

Jakob Lodwick, the entrepreneur who still takes Ayn Rand seriously even though he presumably graduated high school, is off the net because of you. He half-quit once before, back in February, when he was concerned that people were being mean to him because he over-shared too much personal information. Now people are being mean to him because he's patently ridiculous, which means he has to scale back his internet presence even more. All because he wanted to learn about China! Lodwick, who is famous because the streaming video site he founded before YouTube failed to become as popular or successful, says, "I may be a millionaire but I this sort of thing still hurts." Like Molly the Bear, Lodwick cannot understand anyone's hostility toward him. After the jump, the 2 a.m. email your day editor received from the 15-year-old girl who took over the 25-year-old tech entrepreneur's body.

For those of you who don't understand or care about the Spitzer story, mostly because you're only interested in real issues and real drama, we've posted a clip, via Us Weekly, from the new season of The Hills, MTV's fake reality show about people who've spent too much time in the sun. Watch as Lauren, in Paris, learns of on-again-off-again boyfriend Brody's new lady friend. Watch Whitney look dim yet vaguely shocked. Watch them both once again ignore work for personal matters. Oh, it's all coming back!

Broadway is out on strike, TV 's at a standstill, and I'm under orders from my acupuncturist not to drink, so lately I'd been at a loss for what the hell to do. But then I discovered that the best real-life unscripted drama is available to the general public for free, until one a.m., all week! Welcome to the off-off-off-Broadway show that is Night Court.