It's Thanksgiving, and you promised your friends and family that you'd cook something. But in preparation for seeing your friends and family, you've already started to drink. A lot. No worries — we've got five great recipes designed for the already drunk.

It's Independence Day, and it's time to start barbecuing. But you're a miserable failure, and you've already gotten wasted. How will you grill? Don't worry. Chill out. We've got you covered.

The Super Bowl is approaching fast, and knowing you, you're already drunk and haven't even begun to think about what you're going to make for the party. It's okay — stop crying — no, really — because we've got some fun, fast recipes just for you.