If someone says to you, "Quick, name a modern-day equivalent of the exiled Jacobite Scottish noble Bonnie Prince Charlie," nobody would blame you for blurting out, "Jerry O'Connell, the B-actor who got his start in the 1986 coming-of-age tale Stand By Me." That's exactly what the people at Drambuie liqueur thought, too. So they signed up O'Connell, one of the five most famous actors to appear in Jerry Maguire, to add a little star power to the 2008 "Drambuie Pursuit Competition," which will have him racing across 100 miles of harsh terrain in the Scottish highlands, retracing the ancient steps of a fleeing Bonnie Prince Charlie—who legendarily held the secret Drambuie recipe, dummy! Hard to parse the intricate branding strategies in all this, but we think the message is: Jerry O'Connell is a drunk. Below, the choicest fabricated quotes from the press release, and a bonus clip of O'Connell's impression of Tom Cruise's Scientology video—one of his career highlights.