After he was warned not to go into the bayou with a large alligator this weekend, a 28-year-old Texas man did just that, declaring “Fuck that alligator!” and jumping to his demise. Now a friend of the victim, a man known only as Bear, has made the alligator pay with its life for his buddy’s mistake.

If you asked random people to name one thing they want from Steve Harvey, some of them would say "relationship advice," because that's the weird and gross world we live in. But many more would correctly identify Harvey's most valuable contribution to humanity: "reactions to truly dumb Family Feud answers."

In today's edition of why'd you do that?, a woman at the Memphis Zoo in Tennessee has been officially banned from returning after foolishly climbing into the lion enclosure to feed the animals cookies. Do lions even like cookies?

What should one save from a burning house? A dog? Sure. Prized family heirloom? Probably not. A few cans of beer? Nope.

Turns out it might not be your laziness, stubbornness, or general God-given incompetence making you stupid: it could just be all the delicious high fructose corn syrup you eat.