With the U.S. unemployment rate holding steady at 9.1%, people are desperate for any kind of work. That's why Florida state legislator Ritch Workman submitted a bill earlier this month that would repeal the state's ban on dwarf-tossing, freeing up jobs for aerodynamic little people across the Sunshine State. While many have dismissed Workman's bill as both offensive and impractical, he picked up some A-list support tonight when Stephen Colbert laid out the case for re-legalizing "shorty shotput."

Runner's high! Job vs. health! Sex vs. skinny! Cola cancer! Dwarf salvation! Crib mishaps! Geographic exercise aversion! Smoke-free hotels! And lap bands for the rest of us! It's your Thursday Health Watch, where we watch health—while choosing, poorly!

From the Southern wilds of suburban New Orleans comes news of a recent debutante ball that will likely remain unrivaled in Metairie, LA for ages. Why? Because there were dwarfs, a Popeye's food service, and an 8,000 square-foot tent.